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Open Poetry #13

Shadows 'cross the Floor

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2001-04-23 12:01 PM

I have seen your phantoms,
those ghost of
some long time before.

I’ve seen in the shadows
those ghost a
crawl’en 'cross the floor.

Silky shadows are know’en
those dreams, just
ghost of long before.

But ghost can be like
phantoms they
walk'en 'cross the floor.

[This message has been edited by Effigy (edited 04-23-2001).]

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

1 posted 2001-04-23 02:36 AM

I really like this piece. Hope to read more!

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

2 posted 2001-04-23 02:43 AM

Ghosts can be that way...I enjoyed the read!

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

3 posted 2001-04-23 04:13 PM

Thanks. I'm glad that you could enjoy the read.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

4 posted 2001-04-23 07:30 PM

love the dialect that you've used here. . . fits the piece well. . .

great job!

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To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

5 posted 2001-04-23 09:26 PM

Those ghost a crawlen across the floor. I like this. Joyce

Tessa
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 67
Ohio

6 posted 2001-04-23 09:41 PM

wonderful flow and uniqueness to this.

Watersign6
Senior Member

since 2001-05-25

Posts 823
Hurricane,WV

7 posted 2001-06-07 09:27 PM

absolutely amazing writing and love your style too

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2004-04-21 04:15 AM

YES!

forne_marin
Member

since 2004-04-13

Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina

9 posted 2004-05-07 10:52 AM

This is excellent, Wes. Excellent. This piece smacks of Robert Burns, especially his famous "My Luv is Like a Red Red Rose". Your focus in this piece is to present the words as they actually sound, not like they are technically spelled. This one is definately going on the favorite's list.

I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry.

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