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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2001-04-22 03:02 AM

Now the dirge of broken words
depicting loneliness of night
How can silent tears absurd
echo, resounding in my mind?

"Where are you Love?"
(I'm over here...)
taunting me,
already weak,
jabbing so remorselessly
at Achilles of my fears.
"Come closer love.
but not too near..."

My peace of mind's a restless dove,
and every flap of wing is rage;
a futile fight of gilded cage,
thwarted flight to come of age.

"Where are you Love?"
(I'm over there...)
a flaunting tease
inviting air
whispering enticingly
an echoe's answer-question-"Please?"
"Be gone from me
but not too far..."

My recklessness--soul's falconry--
no flight until the hood's release-
serenity's futility--
no confirmation of belief.

"Where am I, Love?"
(You are with me...)

Simple answer, simple ease,
Why is it, I cannot believe?
Faithlessness---obscurity
of light. In darkness, I'm deceived.

[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 04-22-2001).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2001-04-22 07:31 AM

teasing, taunting, tittles of tales...
left behind love, only to rale...

Well done Serenity...

Coal Surrender
Member

since 2001-04-01

Posts 84
U.S.

2 posted 2001-04-22 09:21 AM

Such fresh and creative wording, an alluring tale of love's solitary cry.

Coal

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2001-04-22 09:32 AM

Serenity,
A wonderful write. I really enjoyed the read.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

4 posted 2001-04-22 09:36 AM

This is quite the poetic dirge, however, it's beautifully crafted! I love this use of words they really wax poetic as they say (sorry for the cliche')....

"My recklessness--soul's falconry--
                 no flight until the hood's release-
                 serenity's futility--
                 no confirmation of belief.

                 "Where am I, Love?"
                 (You are with me...)

                 Simple answer, simple ease,
                 Why is it, I cannot believe?
                 Faithlessness---obscurity
                 of light. In darkness, I'm deceived."

Hey, I'll string along with you on this one and I'm backing you up!

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-04-22 11:13 AM

WOW! This is excellent Serenity.....

SEA

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

6 posted 2001-04-22 11:19 AM

The words to laud this wondrous work have been so very well said, I can only echo well done in simple and in ease.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

7 posted 2001-04-22 11:46 AM

this indeed is very well-crafted, as only you can serenity. .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

8 posted 2001-04-22 12:54 PM

Now the dirge of broken words
depicting loneliness of night
How can silent tears absurd
echo, resounding in my mind?

"Where are you Love?"
(I'm over here...)
taunting me,
already weak,
jabbing so remorselessly
at Achilles of my fears.
"Come closer love.
but not too near..."

My peace of mind's a restless dove,
and every flap of wing is rage;
a futile fight of gilded cage,
thwarted flight to come of age.
=========================

Simple answer, simple ease,
Why is it, I cannot believe?
Faithlessness---obscurity
of light. In darkness, I'm deceived.
=========================

time and time again you write me relection in your rhyme divine...
With every poem your research, desire, craftsmanship, mastery, and talent shows...
tighter, more defined, cadence sublime
me thinks ole Bill whispered in your ear

very very cool write me twin
keep em coming...me collects them

me

I love your imperfections ... I love your everything ...
Your broken heart ... your broken wings.

SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

9 posted 2001-04-22 04:34 PM

~Hey there lady! I see you,...how fun!

. Now,...tell me _hoooow_ you do this? How do you get your words to link together like that (like none other), and how do you spill such openness into these perfect little puddles of word formations, full of such thought and feeling? You have something special K,...you are. *Peace you.

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