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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2001-04-21 08:03 AM

Rewrite:

The Morphine of a Dream

I ship upon a ship of dreams
Where subtle schemes fill sails and seams.
Inhaling all the dole and toll
That roam and shoal a dreamers goal.

Where fantasies mine roses path
And fan my mind with aftermath.
To heir my eyes with new aware
And dare my heart the wildest dare.

Where fire lights my very soul
And Shangri-la becomes my goal.
Where furies of its hurricane
Light and build a new domain.

The sea lofts clean, the sky soft blue,
The sun strikes gold I never knew
But always there is left to glean,
The mist and haze of blues and green.

And the gulls sing, instead of scream.
They team the air and theme the dream.
For I am gone of lunacy
And I am one with ecstasy.

And should this be my daily fare
With just one love to hold and share
Than I could walk upon the sea.
And fly above all ennui.

But when the morphine pauses short
The gauze that holds my dreams, abort.
In time all codeine fades like dew
It's then the obscene glades anew.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2001-04-21 08:11 AM

Well....my thoughts are jumbled at best, but then you love doing this, give my mind much to ponder, then leave me alone to watch it wander...

all I can say to this serene,
is I'm allergic to Morphine!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-04-21 08:26 AM

Where fantasies mine roses path
And fan my mind with aftermath.
To heir my eyes with new aware
And dare my heart the wildest dare.

Where fire lights my very soul
And Shangri-la becomes my goal.
Where furies of its hurricane
Light and build a new domain.

The sea lofts clean, the sky soft blue,
The sun strikes gold I never knew
But always there is left to glean,
The mist and haze of blues and green.

And the gulls sing, instead of scream.
They team the air and theme the dream.
For I am gone of lunacy
And I am one with ecstasy.

And should this be my daily fare
With just one love to hold and share
Than I could walk upon the sea.
And fly above all ennui.
===========================

Come sail upon my sea
*winkiewinkie*

** could your inner rhyme be any more divine...
me thinks not ...
but knows you can pen it every time

me

I love your imperfections ... I love your everything ...
Your broken heart ... your broken wings.

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

3 posted 2001-04-21 08:45 AM

Excellent Seymour! The inner rhymes, the wonderful flow ... I "had" to read this one aloud just to appreciate it even more! Loved this Sy!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Cerenity
Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 2637
Escondido-California

4 posted 2001-04-21 09:07 AM

Hi Sy,

"Oh" yes a poetic fix your muse is, just awesomely satisfying,

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)

Just A Woman
Senior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 507

5 posted 2001-04-21 12:04 PM

Oh, this is stunning! I applaud in complete awe.

"I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one."

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

6 posted 2001-04-21 04:12 PM

Sunshine,
Cute comment. *L*

JM,
Thank you for the ships and winkiewinkie comment. Stinky

Kit,
I appreciate the wonderful comment.

Cerenity,
Glad you enjoyed the poetic fix. *L*

Just A Women,
THank you so much for the read and comment.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2001-04-21 10:48 PM

Seymour~

'And should this be my daily fare
With just one love to hold and share
Than I could walk upon the sea.
And fly above all ennui.'

I'd take a dose of your rhyme 24/7 !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

8 posted 2001-04-21 11:10 PM

Marge,
And I'll take a hug from you anytime. *L*

SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

9 posted 2001-04-22 12:47 PM

~Pleased as ever that I stopped in on this. Excellent writing. Skilled. (and captivating in every way). *Peace.

Nate Dogg
Senior Member

since 1999-11-15

Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

10 posted 2001-04-22 01:37 AM

Brilliant writing Sy...... I see you used a little bit of the multi-syllabic rhyme scheme that I introduced to this board and I admit, I was pissed off at first cause, I don't really like anyone copying me but, I cooled off when my father told me that if someone imitates my style that means they admired it therefore, making it the highest form of flattery so Seymour, you did a very nice job....peace!!!

Nathan

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

11 posted 2001-04-22 08:16 AM

Spitfire,
I too am glad you stopped. Thank you.

Nate,
Your father is right. Thank you for the read and coment.

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA

12 posted 2001-04-22 02:00 PM

To fly abov ennui, is to dream of other things and places. We know that dreamers live forever and soon our dreams become reality from within our dreams comes creation and form. Poem extra-ordinary.

"I am not now that which I have been."

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

13 posted 2001-04-22 04:44 PM

Julian,
Thank you for the great comment.

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