Open Poetry #13 |
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Turning Down the Day |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California ![]() |
Turning Down the Day The sun is slanting into afternoon turning down the day soft as remembered laughter distilled vigor it’s orange ball nestled in white crinoline falls into magenta I hear a dove call three times to the dancing tip of a tree listening unplugged melts the taciturn temper of the last down sky as a wilted spirit seeks to explain the triumph of one perfect rose. In the dew of little things, |
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© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kay Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 70 |
very well crafted poem, Martie. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Beautifully flowing and visual Martie ... a lovely treasure! ![]() Best wishes, /Kit |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
soft as remembered laughter...loved this line. Loved the poem and the idea of turning down the day! Speak when you are angry--and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret...Laurence J. Peter |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Martie ... As our weather improves here, I sure look forward to some long awaited twists to " Turning Down the Day " Nicely written ![]() |
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Beckalini Member
since 2001-01-02
Posts 151Yorkshire, England |
Beautiful imagery Martie...not that I expected any less from you. Great write from you, great read for me. Thanks ![]() ~Becky~ |
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Auguste![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Martie, This is lovely, my friend. The sunset here wasn't nearly as pretty as your words. ![]() Michael Proust- |
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Mysteria![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh but you make me smile! ![]() |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
I too like the line, "soft as remembered laughter", a well captured idea. On the other hand . . . I can't help but read "distilled vigor" as "distilled vinegar". ROFL I think maybe I've put up one too many jars of pickles! ![]() Krawdad |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kay--Thank you so much for stoping by to read and taking the time to reply...I appreicate it. Kit--The treasure is in your reply..you always say just the right thing. JLR--Thank you for pointing out to me the parts you particularly liked...it is always of interest to me. Rex Allen--Me too!!! Becky--I'm glad you enjoyed reading my poem...thanks for letting me know. Michael--I'm glad you liked my pretty wordset..thanks ![]() Sharon--I'm happy that I made you smile! Krawdad--Distilled viniger LOL...thanks for the laugh. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now how did you know, I needed just this? |
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Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ What joy to read this beauty. 'distilled vigor it’s orange ball nestled in white crinoline falls into magenta' Just as lovely as the sunset was ... *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Craftily woven, a marvelous, tender read. Yes, a lovely read with which to begin the day here. I just saw the count on my posts is the number commemorating the year of my birth. ![]() [This message has been edited by VAS (edited 04-14-2001).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, You have a style of yourown. Always enjoy reading your work. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
distilled vigor it’s orange ball nestled in white crinoline falls into magenta I hear a dove call three times to the dancing tip of a tree listening unplugged melts the taciturn temper of the last down sky ====================== your so cool.... look how much imagery you acheived in so few words... this is lovely and waaay cool .. which makes it a groovy ![]() ![]() Every moment of every day |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea--Because I needed it, that's how. Marge--I don't think there could be words as lovely as a sunset, could there? Well, maybe yours. VAS--Thank you so much for such a lovely reply. Sy--I always enjoy having you reply....thank you. Janet--I'm trying not to be so wordy...I'm glad to be groovy though...so cool! |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
i've had my bed turned down - with an 'Andes mint' - and other accouterments - I'd take a turn down of this sort - any time - in preference - - absolutely magnificent images Martie - Thank you so much |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
"soft as remembered laughter" ... what a marvelous phrase! *S* This is beautiful, Martie... I love the ending! *S* |
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