Dark Poetry #3 |
He Still |
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Always and silently my love silently, if my voice or eyes are undesirous you breathe phrase and I am spun in hurt, you are too bold for the delicacy of my belief Faith extends so far, it cannot draw the divide into sections I can cross I gape empty yes, I fail in the light of offering overhung with ambition and self sufficiency you storm and darkened, I run yet the journey is toward and not away profounded, the ocean maid consorts with waves, huddles beneath her sky undone This is not the walk I choose, safety lies among my memories, but oh how I am bled through I frail in my stride, my immortal, enmired in this loose definition of safety and wound, sweet dreamer, I’m ascending yet I cannot step alone perhaps I’ll turn, stay with the tides I know you reside in inspiration, and surely I can only long to follow © K. Mahony [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 01-19-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
Simply Awesome, really!! and I love this stanza "I frail in my stride, my immortal, enmired in this loose definition of safety and wound, sweet dreamer, I’m ascending yet I cannot step alone" I love it. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Oh Kamla, How much have I missed reading your exquisite writing... Great work!!! Regards, Sudhir |
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
WOW!!!!! This is really good sutff. I am truly amazed. cheers. |
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He Junior Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 41 |
She the silence of heart bespoken eyes of the ocean maid wanting in longing to touch the world of landed peace too strange unknown but the yearning her sigh as a single raindrop annoints her in the crash of surf the undertow safe its door to vast emptiness where the thunder waves were never heard before now she pauses half round the world not possible land unsighted unremitting clear crescendo as rythmn builds she to waters still ice flows palm worlds depths her domain still she hears my world my life my refuged home you cannot she cries waves of thunder steadfast reply undone eyes widen this moment thunder she hears not without but from inside [This message has been edited by He (edited 01-19-2001).] |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Oh! i love this..so romantic..i havent read in here for a while..i see i have been missing alot ha...wonderful write from you ~V~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This is not the walk I choose, safety lies among my memories, but oh how I am bled through hmm K, you don't know how much I relate to this. Well put my dear. Maree [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 01-19-2001).] |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
It's beautiful and so are you! Kathleen |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
(sorry for the late replies) Joel - wow - that's pretty staggering. Thankyou so much for your very gracious words. Suddy - YAY bounce! So lovely to see you...lovely lovely..hugs my friend. Verve - staggering again lol...thankyou so much... Dear He - You know I have already replied to this in so very many ways...thanks for more and more every day...more thanks than I know how to convey. Victoria - heh, looks like I had been missing a lot too...lol. Thankyou hon.. Mmy - I know dear. I know. Hugs, and thankyou for your reply.. Kathleen - now that is just a beautiful thing to say...thankyou... K |
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mystic requiem Member
since 2001-01-26
Posts 144 |
I enjoyed the flow of your words. They seem to keep the reader wanting more. Well done! *S* mYsTiC [This message has been edited by mystic requiem (edited 01-27-2001).] |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
perhaps I’ll turn, stay with the tides I know you reside in inspiration, and surely I can only long to follow ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Great Lines ~~ Connie ~~ |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Simi? stranger by the day... (i never did get a chance to tell you that i felt this one.) |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Someone brought this up? Connie...well..thanks..I'd all but forgotten it, and thanks for the great lines... C - you did? Hmm...remember what I said about poetic growth? I can see my own when I read this...maybe I need to go play with words again...hugs you... K |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I remember not replying to this at the time ~weak grin~... of course you knew what I thought anyway... heh Big Giant PoohBear Hugs Dear! J My how your writing has grown and evolved There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
*Dave feels mildly anticlimactic for saying this but:* I like this. Ok then. -Dave, with his Bad Anticlimactic Self. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
LOL Dave...haha...I'm not so sure I do now! It was written sooooo long ago...my writing is totally different (shhhhhh..but I'm totally uncomfortable with this poem..sitting up here heh...part of life that's long gone...~blush~) Cheers dude.. K |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
I think you followed well in inspiration, Despite time or place Events or life’s pace Always nice to see displayed emotion Gloom |
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LadyPeach1 Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282 |
My gosh, I wish I was as good of a poet as you. You are SPECTACULAR! this poem is amazing. LadyPeach1 |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I'm always a sucker for ocean poems. Loved it. |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
Even in its "Hall of Fame" state, from which you now state your writing has changed, there is an eternal line..."You are too bold for the delicacy of my belief" Far too often in my experiences, the "one" truly wants (secretively), but the "boldness" belittles the truth of those feelings... Not unlike the "Why should I care what my thoughts are when I'm alone at night thinking on such things...I've got too much to do and prove in reality...this can't be" Earlier work or not, and you having progressed or not, this hit home in the most poetic of specific ways. Great. |
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