Dark Poetry #3 |
Adonis is dead |
Raz Member
since 2002-04-30
Posts 51Quebec, Canada |
Adonis is dead Three days I lay my head on his chest, holding him close to share my warmth. I kissed his lips and found they were sewn against breath. Would that this were an effigy, another of Tussaud’s sick wax jokes convincing to the point of comfort; would that his flesh were paraffin cunningly pastelled. Would that they were actors paid to speak softly in pairs, arms heavy over each-other’s shoulders in a pantomime of mourning. The undertaker said we could leave one small thing. Others placed rings, letters and pictures. I handcuffed my wrist to his and climbed into the casket. |
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© Copyright 2002 Raz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Raz~ Very interesting....I had vivid images with reading this.... Lauren~ ~Sinking fast into |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I won't be brutal, 'cause I really enjoyed this. But, but, but ... I thought the ending was a bit dramatic. To be sure, the whole poem is, and to good effect, but the bein' chained into the coffin is kinda Heathcliff insane on the moors stuff. Which is fine, ah suppose. Enjoyed the poem. |
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Raz Member
since 2002-04-30
Posts 51Quebec, Canada |
Ah c'n handl' brut'l. Though the handcuffing is a bit o'er-the-top, if you feel anything but Heathcliff-insane-on-the-moors after your best friend is murdered, seek therapy, for you are one stunted heart. The title is lifted from a Shelly poem that refers to the death of Keats, 'ADONAIS: AN ELEGY ON THE DEATH OF JOHN KEATS'. It's long... 395 lines, and in great 19th century style its flamboyance is dramatic, and very melancholic while still very beautiful. The third stanza, for example: Oh, weep for Adonais--he is dead! Wake, melancholy Mother, wake and weep! Yet wherefore? Quench within their burning bed Thy fiery tears, and let thy loud heart keep Like his, a mute and uncomplaining sleep; For he is gone, where all things wise and fair Descend--oh, dream not that the amorous Deep Will yet restore him to the vital air; Death feeds on his mute voice, and laughs at our despair. Glad you enjoyed. -Raz |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
The ending is great...just great. Tis a poem that made me think, and feel - and I always like those. Dramatic? Nah...not at all. It reads controlled, and with a touch of humane madness... thanks for gracing Dark with this poem Raz. K |
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