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JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

0 posted 2001-01-10 05:56 AM

Out of Touch

I don't really have anybody right now and it's not that I haven't been tryin.
It seems they don't like my style or is it my smile
or perhaps my looks or personality are annoying.
I feel so out of touch and now I'm not even sure where my heart is going.
Anyway I was with someone til I moved her to the bottom of my list
and honestly for quite a while she was dearly missed.
There was just no way I could sustain a relationship with her although I tried with all my might.
She criticized the heck out of me and finally I bid her good night.
And i'm still not exactly sure why she took out all her pain and anger on me.
Suppose the one's closest around you catch all the flying debris.
I do know she was very hard and very hurt by shattered dreams from in her past
and I thought perhaps someday she would let them go because even she should know that living in the past can't last.
And even thou she always seemed so very much out of touch with her emotions
reality has finally set in to touch her heart in part due to our unfortunate demise I have a notion.
And now it seems she can more clearly understand my point of view, my plight and my range of emotions
and I am more than happy to see these results conceived
thinking this is a heck of a price to pay and one hell of a method to employ to produce the end results she now believes
but certainly she can not yet appreciate or enjoy being in touch with her feelings and all the truths she now receives.

Jameslee@January10,2001

[This message has been edited by jmlee12345 (edited 01-10-2001).]

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

1 posted 2001-01-10 06:08 AM

Wow.
This is a mighty poem.
I'm impressed by the forthright style, and the expression of the emotion.

It seems like this might have been a tough write James

K

Strokes of ink, words, dreams like
Waking mountains make intimate conversations
With my shadow

From 'Words in the Night' by Jeff Geddes

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2001-01-11 01:40 PM

Thanks Severn...actually easy to write within a door of opportunity...I waited patiently for the right moment...James

Ginners
Member

since 2000-07-22

Posts 339
Mullica Hill, New Jersey

3 posted 2001-01-11 03:24 PM

wow, i think this was an amazing write, i dont know what else i can say, i seem speachless right now

Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member

since 2000-03-21

Posts 680
Kansas

4 posted 2001-01-12 01:13 PM

Great poem here, James. It was like reading a lil story with a kick. I hope it all works out for you.

Mags

No person is worth your tears, and the only one that is ...... will never make you cry

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

5 posted 2001-01-12 10:27 PM

You still upset about this James hon? I'm so sorry, she must have meant a little more than most to you in some way.... Time heals all wounds and until this one is healed, know you are respected and loved around Passions at least.. *hugs*
Isis

*The heart of education is the education of the heart...*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2001-01-14 03:24 AM

Thank you Ginners, Mags and Isis...Isis actually I am pretty much over this...it is in fact she who has finally gotten in touch with her feelings...including regret...I have moved on and she is trying to hold on to a moving train...James

firecrakker
Member

since 2000-10-20

Posts 235
Virginia

7 posted 2001-01-15 03:05 PM

Way to go, James!!!

(now tell me the secret of surviving the initial backlash!!

)

Sheila

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

8 posted 2001-01-15 06:54 PM

Good stuff James, I am glad you are feeling better.
Sandra

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

9 posted 2001-01-15 10:37 PM

Thank you very much Sheila and Sandra...The secret is you definately will survive...I did...perhaps it may be one of the hardest emotionial journeys you have undertaken but you will make it...you fight for your freedom and your happiness...one day at a time...don't know if you watched the movie "Cast Away" but in a sense his physical will to survive was also an emotional and mental will to survive...James

[This message has been edited by jmlee12345 (edited 01-16-2001).]

Joel the wolf
Senior Member

since 2000-04-06

Posts 1333
Angels Camp

10 posted 2001-01-16 02:53 AM

A great flight in passion james
and yes we can survive.

I did also.
I married my white dove, and living happly ever after.
Joel.

I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

11 posted 2001-01-16 03:46 AM

Joel you just had to remind me that you are the happiest man on this earth...I love hearing that...you fought a good fight...you deserve every blessing that comes your way...James

armanca
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 211
Tennessee

12 posted 2001-01-16 09:28 AM

You know you are truly blessed with talent if someone can read your poetry of distress and turning points... and have us drooling over the person that is saying all these wonderful words ...

Carman

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

13 posted 2001-01-26 02:28 PM

Thank you Carman...you are nice...James

nn
Member

since 2000-09-18

Posts 75

14 posted 2001-01-27 02:20 PM

Well...after read that,I feel afraid to be like the "she" you mention there sometimes,some way.

silentsky
Member

since 2000-08-09

Posts 114

15 posted 2001-01-27 02:35 PM

its funny that you say that the way you are able to survive is by knowing that you will... for me knowing that i will is what intensely depresses me. i mean it feels very meaningless, that it all comes and goes, and you just keep on moving, and your hurt moves too. and...i find that idea horrible. its like you cant even take yourself seriously.
just a comment. i liked the poem.
shira

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

16 posted 2001-01-28 02:34 AM

Thanks mn and shira...
This poem is more about another than me...a woman that always seemed to be a zombie...a woman that reminded me of myself many years ago...she was struck with a nuclear explosion and she doesn't quite know how to survive in the fallout...I have been blown clear...I am free from a stagnated relationship...my future can be whatever I want it to be...James

mystic requiem
Member

since 2001-01-26

Posts 144

17 posted 2001-01-28 02:59 PM

It is often difficult to be in a relationship
where you are doing all the giving.
And no one enjoys being critcized constantly.
Some people stay in hurtful relatinships
trying to make them better.
Which is often a waste of time.
Your poem speaks to me as it does to
many that have commented.
Good insight and emotional delivery here.
*thanx*

mYsTiC

[This message has been edited by mystic requiem (edited 01-28-2001).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

18 posted 2001-02-03 06:40 PM

Mystic your words have explained my feelings so well...James

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