Dark Poetry #3 |
despite |
PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
Every single word forgotten Every touch you gave me Every look if any were exchanged at all. Every time you loved me Every time you swore Every lie if you even spoke at all. After everything you've put me through, after each and every puncture wound... If I had to look at one person before I'd die we both --Well, I know-- it would still be you. (hm... i dont know) "I slipped away |
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© Copyright 2002 Sara Nicole - All Rights Reserved | |||
majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
the honest pain comes through well. however the diction is quite unimaginative and reflects the poem in general. i dislike the centering. regardless of any critique, the words were haunting in a way. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I'm not sure about this one. I like the ending, but I'm not sure about the rest of it. :/ I am a Knight who says Ni! |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
It is very haunting, and very honest. A good write. |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
wow, this was very good I know what it feels like to feel like that |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
It's a good one Sara, Keep goin' n' growin' Ed |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
Sara, This was awesome! I think that you displayed all of your emotions wonderfully!I totally forgot that you post on "dark poetry" too and I remembered and wanted to look and..Ok thats enough! *Allison* |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
hey, you dont know all that i had to go through to post this reply, well actually i think you do, but anywayz this was realllly good and i aint gonna ramble so.... good poem ~samantha~ "sometimes i just feel like |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ah, how nice to read you again. |
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