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Dark Poetry #3
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gpc
Junior Member
since 2003-03-01
Posts 43


0 posted 2003-09-19 05:51 PM


Fish Tank (By Night)

Soak in the buzzing warm glow,
from excess electricity criss-crossing to the temples.
From floating fish in cream coloured cages,
trapped with one view.
Keeping an eye,
on who's stealing Post-It notes.

The pavement throbs to the sound,
of a thousand feet that aren't there.
Heading south, north,
anywhere but here.
Their only mark,
a worn instep in suburbia.

The empty feeling of black side streets,
punctuated by the shallow place names,
interrupted by artificial angel light.
An abandoned broadsheet,
falls to the gutter with distant memory,
distainful lyrics without music.

The polarity of these magnetic buildings,
reverses as tube trains grind to a halt,
scared in a darkened tunnel, stationary.
Those less fortunate find salvation,
in the opulance of these chrome giants,
the fragility of glass, an irony not lost.

As day falls the free close their tired eyes,
turning them to the sun that lights the buildings,
so they can imagine their dirt.
The fish know it's feeding time soon,
but they look no more excited,
they all look the same in their differences.

Sweaty suits slide past shady holes,
that hole is their home.
they are receeding now, tricking you.
You think you're the king of the jungle.
But what are you?
No more than they, less even, a fish.
All looking the same in your differences,
all floating in cream coloured cages,
all keeping an eye,
on who's stealing Post-It notes.

[This message has been edited by gpc (09-20-2003 02:15 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 gpc - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2003-09-20 03:10 AM


Oh My God - this is brilliant . . .

Keeping an eye,
on who's stealing Post-It notes.

adore it, refreshing actually
and the artificial angel light . . .
your metaphors are astounding gp . . .
and yes, sometimes I do feel that
the ones who remove themselves from
"life"  are truly the lucky ones
Beautiful writing
xxoo

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
2 posted 2003-09-20 04:43 PM


Nice write.  

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2003-09-20 10:39 PM


loved the metaphor...

all that activity going nowhere.

And the use of fishtank gives a meditative distance to the observation of this world, more tranquil from a distance than from within I fear.

Excellent write, and interesting technique.

I hope to read more from you soon.

Insomniac Cat
Member
since 2003-09-23
Posts 69
The Land of the Dadaists
4 posted 2003-09-23 12:08 PM


I like it because it's surreal. Leaves a lot to the imagination.
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