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Dark Poetry #3
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TwoSided
Junior Member
since 2003-07-06
Posts 19


0 posted 2003-09-14 11:36 PM



I knew that night when you pressed my hand against your chest
That is was end game
I saw it in your eyes
Smelt it on your breath\
Monsieur Death had come from you
No, it couldn’t be true
Not you
Did death make a mistake?
Was it to late to undo it?
Why’d you have to tell me?
I could have been happy
In those last few days you spent with me
But every time I walked into that white hospital room
I knew all those words were true
Sitting down beside you, I begin to describe the world
From the grass outside to the plastic flowers in the lobby
Tougher we talked about all the things we once knew
Beautiful and bitter
We talk about it all
But one night after I left your side
I received a call
“She’s dead,” the doctor said
Buts that’s not all
“John come back, John I’m scared, Johen come back”
She also uttered on her deathbed
The receiver drops
Conversation ends
Between the Doctors
Between Friends
Between Family
Between Us.

*Ah bloody it's not that good certainly steping out of my new found way of writting but oh well.*

© Copyright 2003 TwoSided - All Rights Reserved
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
1 posted 2003-09-14 11:55 PM


I liked this.  Its sad.  Its kind of like falling a long way then just like a hook at the end of a long rope or a noose just grabs you and tears something in half and the fall is over with nothing left to show for it.  

Nice write.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2003-09-15 09:38 AM


Two, no it is fantastic
I have relived this memory many times within my own mind
nice writing
xxoo

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
3 posted 2003-09-15 10:11 AM


you created quite a picture. I felt like I was there, in the white walled room, this was very touching, and sad.
~lex

TwoSided
Junior Member
since 2003-07-06
Posts 19

4 posted 2003-09-15 04:03 PM


Oh I'm glad you all liked it, I almost didn't post it becauseI didn't think it was that good. But now I'm glad I did! Thank you all!
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