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teenpoet
Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280
Michigan

0 posted 2003-09-11 10:44 AM


A broken heart and broken thought
broken children and broken bought
I don't know what''s wrong with me
do you?
I don't know what to do
what do you do?
how do I rise above this indomitable depression
my thoughts are lonely and mind confused
oh if only I could find you
you
who are you?
from whence do you come
why haven't you come for me
I'm still alone
lonely as the majestic oak
hundreds of years old and surrounded
by housing settlements and cements
nothing alive nearby
and children climb thy limbs and leave thee to thy pain
oh if only I could find you
oh if only I weren't so afraid
broken peices floating round
that one's me and that one's thou
I am alone and yet surrounded
by empty death and deadly tears
where are you now?

Let go of your concept of reality and try mine for a while...then we'll see how long you last.

© Copyright 2003 Alicia Adams - All Rights Reserved
serametheicebound
New Member
since 2003-09-04
Posts 8
South Africa-Free State
1 posted 2003-09-11 12:01 PM


This is tight.I love yo signature as well.Keep on writing U inpire me.

The Conquest Is My Daily Testament

Mor-Estal Landis
Junior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 10
Luca, Ventoren
2 posted 2003-09-11 01:18 PM


That was awesome BP, You need to write out and keep more of your stuff though. I love writing your works, and from now on yo ucan read one of mine for every one of yours I read.

Mor-Estal Landis, The Dark Star
"...Shadowed by Darkness, and Stalked by Despair..."

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2003-09-12 02:02 AM


Alicia - beautiful right here excellent:

lonely as the majestic oak
hundreds of years old and surrounded
by housing settlements and cements
nothing alive nearby
and children climb thy limbs and leave thee to thy pain

just perfect
xxoo

blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
4 posted 2003-09-14 01:00 AM


"broken peices floating round
that one's me and that one's thou
I am alone and yet surrounded
by empty death and deadly tears"

Whoa...  Just....  whoa.....  

I feel like you are inside my mind with this piece, it's almost scary, in a good way.  :p  I'm sorry I haven't e-mailed you back yet, I've been working like you would not believe.  

I love the way this piece was phrased, it flowed so well, and had a subject matter that seems fresh, though penned for years and years.  I really enjoyed this and am adding it to my library.

~Alicia

blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
5 posted 2003-09-14 01:00 AM


It might help if I actually clicked the button though, huh?  :p
mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

6 posted 2003-09-14 09:58 PM


I enjoyed the imagery here. Nice write.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

teenpoet
Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280
Michigan
7 posted 2003-09-16 10:23 AM


Thanx all for replying

Let go of your concept of reality and try mine for a while...then we'll see how long you last.

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