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Dark Poetry #3

Ruins my Soul

JenniX
Junior Member

since 2003-06-05

Posts 29

0 posted 2003-09-10 02:25 PM

I lay in bed,
fighting to sleep,
while it eats at my soul.
The destruction of my life,
ruins of my soul,
are left to rot,
while I lay awake,
listenning to all the demons,
amongst my layer.
How must I stay living,
for if i fail where might I end up.
I am doomed to hell,
the forbidden lfe,
i have never had,
lost forever,
in the darkness of hell,
while the demons ruin my soul,
I turn evil,
to everybody around me.
Unfriendly, cruel,
for I now seek death,
before they fully destroy me,
for if the don't find it,
i will be ruined forever.
With no soul,
i will be doomed to hell,
unwelcomed to heaven,
to find happiness and the light.
My soul now ruined,
turned dark from evil,
sent to hell,
while my body stays living.
No life,
No happiness,
No soul.
Doomed to hell forever.

cuda04
Junior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 46
Wisconsin,USA

1 posted 2003-09-10 10:16 PM

the overall impression I got from this piece was great, but the flow could really use some work, it was hard to keep reading.

Always look forward, never look back, dreams are much more refreshing than regrets.

ShannonMarie
Member

since 2003-09-09

Posts 55
in a state of being

2 posted 2003-09-10 10:26 PM

I thought it was good, you showed fear of the future and almost a feeling of being lost inside yourself.

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