Dark Poetry #3 |
Awkward Silences |
Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
Awkward silences fill the room as I lay beside my dying father As I sit and feed him dinner, I talk about the weather I’ve scanned every inch of his small room Anything to seem like I belong there, with him He’s my father, you know My Dad Then he takes a turn for the worse And he can’t sit up So, I don’t have to feed him He is sleeping So I stop worrying about what I’m going to say I get to lay beside him in peace Watch his chest rise and fall with each difficult breath Instead of the room I examine the black and purple darkness creeping up the edges of his face and eyes Like death’s mask I hold his hand Draping his fingers between mine I count his breaths Listen to each change in pace It doesn’t matter what I say |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah, this was a difficult write but done extremely well. You brought the presence of your father into this very room. Welcome to Passions. Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting! Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Endless Good God I cannot believe you have written of this . . . I just experienced the exact same thing with my uncle Didnt really know how to express it Thank you for doing so for me and I am sorry Welcome to PIP! Touching entrance xxoo |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
Instead of the room I examine the black and purple darkness creeping up the edges of his face and eyes Like death’s mask Wow, I don't know if I could write about this if it happened to me. This was a heartwrenching piece. Welcome...I look forward to more. ~Lex [This message has been edited by Lexy (09-06-2003 02:30 PM).] |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Wow! what an entrance, Welcome to passions. With such a difficult subject so vividly portrayed I'm sure you will do well here. I look forward to reading more of your work. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
Thank you so much for the wonderful welcome! I already like it here. I'm glad you appreciated my poem. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
EndlessEcho~ The quiet love truly echoes through this piece~ Touching and very, very moving~ Welcome to Passions~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
To feel and to be able to express what you feel thru such a write, is more than just talent. It is a gift. To be chosen to convey, as to be a part of and with - Love. mysticpoe If nothing is something |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
Ah, this is a sad, yet very well constructed piece. It reminds me of a prose piece I used to perform... God, if I could only remember what it is called!! I will find the title of it for you if you'd like me to. Anyway, for what it's worth, I don't want to call this a great piece because that seems utterly morbid, nor do I want to say I enjoyed it. But it is surely heart-wrenching and well put. ~Alicia |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
Thank you so much everyone! black halo - I would love the name of that prose peice to read. |
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