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Dark Poetry #3
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Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself

0 posted 2003-09-05 02:55 PM


Awkward silences fill the room
as I lay beside my dying father

As I sit and feed him dinner,
I talk about the weather

I’ve scanned every inch of his small room
Anything to seem like I belong there,
with him

He’s my father, you know
My Dad

Then he takes a turn for the worse
And he can’t sit up
So, I don’t have to feed him

He is sleeping
So I stop worrying about what I’m going to say

I get to lay beside him in peace
Watch his chest rise and fall
with each difficult breath

Instead of the room
I examine the black and purple darkness
creeping up the edges of his face and eyes
Like death’s mask

I hold his hand
Draping his fingers between mine

I count his breaths
Listen to each change in pace

It doesn’t matter what I say

© Copyright 2003 Endlessecho - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-09-05 05:05 PM



Ah, this was a difficult write
but done extremely well.  You brought
the presence of your father into
this very room.

Welcome to Passions.  Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting!

Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen?

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2003-09-05 10:11 PM


Endless
Good God I cannot believe you have written of this . . . I just experienced the exact same thing with my uncle
Didnt really know how to express it
Thank you for doing so for me
and I am sorry
Welcome to PIP!
Touching entrance
xxoo

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
3 posted 2003-09-06 02:29 PM


Instead of the room
I examine the black and purple darkness
creeping up the edges of his face and eyes
Like death’s mask

Wow, I don't know if I could write about this if it happened to me. This was a heartwrenching piece. Welcome...I look forward to more.
~Lex

[This message has been edited by Lexy (09-06-2003 02:30 PM).]

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
4 posted 2003-09-06 07:11 PM


Wow! what an entrance, Welcome to passions. With such a difficult subject so vividly portrayed I'm sure you will do well here. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
5 posted 2003-09-08 08:02 AM


Thank you so much for the wonderful welcome!  I already like it here.  I'm glad you appreciated my poem.  

  

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2003-09-08 09:28 AM


EndlessEcho~
The quiet love truly echoes through this piece~
Touching and very, very moving~

Welcome to Passions~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
   noles1@totcon.com   

mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

7 posted 2003-09-08 10:11 AM


To feel and to be able to express what you feel thru such a write, is more than just talent. It is a gift. To be chosen to convey, as to be a part of and with - Love.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

blackhalo
Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467
Denver, CO
8 posted 2003-09-09 02:00 AM


Ah, this is a sad, yet very well constructed piece.  It reminds me of a prose piece I used to perform...  God, if I could only remember what it is called!!  I will find the title of it for you if you'd like me to.  Anyway, for what it's worth, I don't want to call this a great piece because that seems utterly morbid, nor do I want to say I enjoyed it.  But it is surely heart-wrenching and well put.     
~Alicia

Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
9 posted 2003-09-09 08:01 AM


Thank you so much everyone!

black halo - I would love the name of that prose peice to read.


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