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Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

0 posted 2003-09-05 10:39 AM

All light across the world is fading as darkness slowly moves in. It seems the battle is over, It seems death did win. As I watch the angels plummet from the heavens above. the world is cast in shadow and our race forgets the meaning of love. and the sky slowly turns crimson, water too blood, demons begin to sprout like roses stright up from the mud. as hopelessness begins to settle on us who survived and he who conquered comes to take our lives. with slow tourment until we die with no place now for our soul's to reside. so we cry and I give one last aganizing sigh and whisper goodbye.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

1 posted 2003-09-05 10:58 AM

Outstanding depiction. Painted very nicely. Good write.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Endlessecho
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 398
I live within myself

2 posted 2003-09-05 03:04 PM

Beautiful sentiments.  Some very powerful lines in there, such as the first two lines and

"hopelessness begins to settle on us who survived"

But, the format became a little confusing near the end especially with the spelling mistakes.  Check your spelling.

Nice poem!

click1
Member

since 2003-03-25

Posts 152
usa

3 posted 2003-09-05 09:30 PM

Well DONE!! f123 The spelling...I read what you said..WOW verry powerful...Thanx!!
sometimes, when I can not write fast enough, my spelling goes to the wall also..AH well..the message remains..

Click

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

4 posted 2003-09-06 04:53 AM

i thank you all for your replies and i'm sorry about the spelling and format but i'm in the army over here in iraq and when we get to use the internet it's only for 10 minutes. so my writing is kind of rushed. but thanks again

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

5 posted 2003-09-07 05:48 AM

I can understand about your spelling but angels plmmeting from the sky made up for that. A very powerful write. Maggie

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-09-07 10:29 AM

Jeremiah:

this is absolute perfection
I adore this
xxoo

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