Dark Poetry #3 |
Porcelain |
blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
On a scale of 1-10 How do you rate me? I know I am not Nearly fault-free. Water damaged from tears And stained crimson with blood, Glue holds together Cracks made with your love. In porcelain figures, I'm one from a mold, And over the years, My heart has turned cold. Hand-painted by Satan-- The devil himself Couldn't stand to see me; Set me aside on a shelf. Now as I sit here Caked with dead dust, I know you won't want me, I'm too hard to trust. So you pass me by Like all of the others, And I hide my new tears Under the covers. So much for shining In hopes of your hand Keeping me from slipping Because I shatter when I land. |
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© Copyright 2003 Alicia R - All Rights Reserved | |||
eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
you are a 10 to me!!!!! great write, very passoniate, loved it, truly! adding this "There never was a genius without a tincture of madness." |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
oops, stupid me, forgot to add, lets try it one more time "There never was a genius without a tincture of madness." |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Alicia . . . So much for shining In hopes of your hand Keeping me from slipping Because I shatter when I land. me too this man is a fool then . . . you are most definitely a 10 xxoo |
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click1 Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 152usa |
Well done ..I heard every word... Thanks...! Click |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I liked this. It had the "awkard" rhyme scheme, but it kind of went with the title. Porcelain itself could represent a relationship. Like it has problems and cracks and eventually breaks. But the way you wrote it the read makes it feel sturdy with cracks. I just enjoyed and thought Id point it out. Craig a trickle of music from a well |
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teenpoet Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280Michigan |
I liked this alot. the guy's got problems if he won't catch you. You're definitely an 11. ~Alicia~ (aka Blue~Phoenix aka teenpoet) |
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Lady Godiva Junior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 35at the bottom of your glass |
I know I don't know you but by far you are a 10! this was very achingly beautiful...hope all is well tho.. |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
This is an amazing piece of art! I can relate to it so well. Not one word is out of place here. Beautiful! And going in my library. WinterWren |
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