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eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

0 posted 2003-08-20 02:45 AM

This poem is in no way about suicide or death, take the words in this metaphorically, not literally...please
She says come on come on
I don't know if this is real or fake

Best friend

I say let’s slow down
You don't know if this is real or fake

Best friend but

So, come on come on
You initiated this

Best friend cause I

Am I able to handle this all?
I really don't think so

Best friend but you get

So I say come on come on
Let’s just get this over with

Best friend cause I pulled the

So do I deserve this all?
I can’t take this anymore

Best friend but you get what you

Now I say back off back off
This life is too precious

Best friend cause I pulled the trigger
Best friend but you get what you get what you deserve

Best friend cause I pulled the trigger
Best friend but you get what you get what you deserve

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2003-08-20 03:38 AM

it's like a song..to me..
playing in my head..

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

2 posted 2003-08-20 04:10 AM

nice write.

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

3 posted 2003-08-20 06:24 PM

You've amazed me yet again. Stunning words.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

4 posted 2003-08-20 11:24 PM

thanks everyone

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

5 posted 2003-08-21 08:42 AM

Interesting eor, rough week? the repetitive ending lines gave the write real substance. Nice write.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

6 posted 2003-08-21 05:01 PM

rough week mixed wiht partying that night, and stupid things in my head...but thanks poe.

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

blackhalo
Member

since 2000-02-15

Posts 467
Denver, CO

7 posted 2003-08-22 01:22 PM

I like the flow and the rythym of this... And the phrases get longer as you head toward the end, that's usually how it goes, huh? This was quite the piece, I really enjoyed it!
~Alicia

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

8 posted 2003-08-22 02:03 PM

thank you

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

9 posted 2003-08-23 12:11 PM

Kaoru had a point that is quite obvious I think, it is like a song.
Add.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

10 posted 2003-08-23 11:20 AM

Matt - as in you cant take the pain alone, yet want it to be gone . . . not one person is to blame . . . I do understand
xxoo

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