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Eromyna
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

0 posted 2003-08-01 12:25 PM

I've never been this dead before
I used to be a human, too
I used to bleed and cry in pain
I used to act like you

I'm awake in incubation
I watch myself arrange
observe my own creation
examining each change

Perfection in a bottle
my emotions, mass produced
betray my need for sympathy
All my joy is drug-enduced

Skin that doesn't feel
Veins that never bleed
Eyes that never spilt a tear
mechanics with no needs

I am not this object
I'm real; I think and do
I cannot be remodelled
or endure the things you put me through

I'll shatter from your fist
I'll crumble with your weight
My soul's already compromised
and soon, my heart will break

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

1 posted 2003-08-01 12:45 PM

To express such feelings through writing is a testament in fortitude, thus continuing, write on!! Nice job.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

2 posted 2003-08-01 02:49 PM

From within the whipping boys chamber. Nice write.

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

Dark Kisses
Member

since 2001-06-24

Posts 364
Flat lands of Kansas

3 posted 2003-08-03 04:23 AM

Great write!!!

Purple Poet On Wheels
Member

since 2002-06-21

Posts 145
Pittsburgh/Edinboro, PA

4 posted 2003-08-03 12:59 PM

I can't tell if you're writing from the POV of a Robot or a Zombie; either way, great stuff right here

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

5 posted 2003-08-03 03:43 PM

very intreuging(sp??)
"I used to bleed and cry in pain
I used to act like you"

brillant...

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

6 posted 2003-08-03 08:42 PM

Quite excellent. I can relate well to this poem, very well.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

7 posted 2003-08-04 01:39 AM

I really like this one. Alot.
Especially the last stanza,
Well done!!

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

rh287
New Member

since 2003-08-04

Posts 7

8 posted 2003-08-04 03:40 PM

Great poem. The ending could be a poem alone.

Magia_negra
Member

since 2003-07-16

Posts 77
CA, USA

9 posted 2003-08-04 04:16 PM

I like it a lot. Every line in this poem has a meaning. Good write!

...somos los locos para siempre
para siempre te amo
mi vida...

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

10 posted 2003-08-04 05:07 PM

I am in awe of the power and beauty in this piece...I'm astonished by your talent.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

11 posted 2003-08-09 01:17 PM

ouch...
this one hurts.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

SharaRose
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~

12 posted 2003-08-09 05:35 PM

SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Lexia
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 111
Nowhere

13 posted 2003-08-13 11:58 AM

So interesting. Almost a story, n'er to be told.

Lex

You may only be one person to the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

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