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Dark Poetry #3

this is the day

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

0 posted 2003-07-19 06:03 PM

The sadness that hits me on this day
Has come to remain, always stay
The sadness that breaks the sky
Has come, but won’t let me cry
This is as they say
That one, single day
And never will I forget it
This as they say
Is that day
The one that will never
Go…away….

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-07-19 07:24 PM

I loved the 3rd and 4th lines. or is it one line? I don't know there are no periods. anyhow I loved this.
~Lex..

Lexia
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 111
Nowhere

2 posted 2003-07-20 04:32 PM

I loved the last four lines of this. I can identify with this piece quite well.

Keep up the good word work.

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

3 posted 2003-07-22 12:40 PM

it's an exercise learning to let go of the sad days and heralding in good ones...keep up the writing

Gabkicks
Junior Member

since 2003-06-04

Posts 13

4 posted 2003-07-22 03:28 AM

It's good, except i have no idea what's making you sad

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

5 posted 2003-07-22 03:46 AM

A funeral, thats all I see. No one but you left to mourn, so whispers are all thats left. Sweet silence, and its here to stay...
NJS

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

6 posted 2003-07-22 07:37 PM

I cannot let go of the sad days, the sad days are all I have. I appreciate the feedback though.

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