Dark Poetry #3 |
The Passing |
Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
well it's been over a year since i've posted anything because i've been real busy with my Army life. but here goe's. When one soul passes into the void. More then one persons hopes and dreams become destroyed. ragged fragments of what use to be, shattered in a painful sea. And the wind that once blew no longer blows. too the point that people once knew, no longer know. As the snow becomes ice. emotions frozen as feelings lock up inside. And one spirit rides the black river and others mourn his ride. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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© Copyright 2003 E'Val - All Rights Reserved | |||
mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
Nice write, the void, like life's quicksand. Something to avoid. Good job w/this one. mysticpoe If nothing is something |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
very descriptive enjoyed reading take care Rose |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
"As the snow becomes ice. emotions frozen as feelings lock up inside. And one spirit rides the black river and others mourn his ride."-loved this, nice write "in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums" |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
thank you all for your great replies. i hope to be able to read all your work as well. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...hope the Army is treating you good...James |
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Agi New Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 6 |
"And the wind that once blew no longer blows". My wind is no longer blowing..... I loved it...... |
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missmisery61 Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 56 |
"And one spirit rides the black river and others mourn his ride" This was a really clever phrase in expressing the death of one person and because of it, the greiving others must have experienced. Not just for the void created in their own lives by the passing of someone that they loved , but also, an actual sadness for the person who has lost their life. So lord I see you grinnin' must be grand always winning....AIC |
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Lach Pahtai New Member
since 2003-08-05
Posts 5Spring Hill Fl |
One can only imagine where you get your inspiration from. The truth is very accurate in this one. Very good Jeremaih, you haven't lost your touch. Inspiring as always Be happy while you're alive, for you'll be a long time dead |
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SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
:"( This is sad. It's so true. No man is an island. We affect other people around us. SharaRose @-->-- Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer! |
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