navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » The Passing
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Passing Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

0 posted 2003-07-13 08:35 AM


well it's been over a year since i've posted anything because i've been real busy with my Army life. but here goe's.


When one soul passes into the void.
More then one persons hopes and dreams become destroyed. ragged fragments of what use to be, shattered in a painful sea.
And the wind that once blew no longer blows. too the point that people once knew, no longer know.
As the snow becomes ice. emotions frozen as feelings lock up inside. And one spirit rides the black river and others mourn his ride.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


© Copyright 2003 E'Val - All Rights Reserved
mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

1 posted 2003-07-13 11:52 AM


Nice write, the void, like life's quicksand. Something to avoid. Good job w/this one.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
2 posted 2003-07-13 03:18 PM


very descriptive enjoyed reading take care Rose
eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
3 posted 2003-07-13 04:54 PM


"As the snow becomes ice. emotions frozen as feelings lock up inside. And one spirit rides the black river and others mourn his ride."-loved this, nice write

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
4 posted 2003-07-15 12:17 PM


thank you all for your great replies. i hope to be able to read all your work as well.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2003-07-15 06:44 PM


Enjoyed...hope the Army is treating you good...James
Agi
New Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 6

6 posted 2003-07-16 05:54 AM


"And the wind that once blew no longer blows". My wind is no longer blowing.....
I loved it......

missmisery61
Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 56

7 posted 2003-07-17 05:13 PM


"And one spirit rides the black river and others mourn his ride"

This was a really clever phrase in expressing the death of one person and because of it, the greiving others must have experienced. Not just for the void created in their own lives by the passing of someone that they loved , but also, an actual sadness for the person who has lost their life.  

So lord I see you grinnin' must be grand always winning....AIC

Lach Pahtai
New Member
since 2003-08-05
Posts 5
Spring Hill Fl
8 posted 2003-08-06 12:04 PM


One can only imagine where you get your inspiration from. The truth is very accurate in this one. Very good Jeremaih, you haven't lost your touch. Inspiring as always

Be happy while you're alive, for you'll be a long time dead
Christina

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
9 posted 2003-08-06 01:06 AM


:"( This is sad. It's so true. No man is an island. We affect other people around us.

SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » The Passing

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary