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a_hollowman
Junior Member

since 2003-05-30

Posts 30
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

0 posted 2003-07-02 04:57 PM

  Forenote: For those of you reading this poetry, try to realise that my style is concerned with the visual representation of order and as such, I give little thought (although more than most) to actual rhyme schemes and meter. In Lehmann's terms, «This is pretty to look at, not read.»

D I D
E D D I E
A C C E P T  I N  A
T U R M O I L  W H A T
H E  W A S  T O L D ?  W I S H
H E  W H A T W E  A L L  W I S H
U N T R U E ?  A S  M U C H Y O U
N O W  A S  O U R  E D D I E  O N
T H I S  W O E F U L  N I G H T.
S O  D I E D  S A D  E D D I E' S
U N D O  M O M  W H O  Y O U
S A D L Y K N E W  A S
A  L A D Y  W I T H O U T  A
L A S T I N G  C A L L.
L U C Y  I S  A L L
N U M B  A N D  I N
O U R  M I N D S,  O'
M I S S,  I A M
A L A S!,  A-
N O N

           IS FREE FROM IT
           IS FREE FROM FEAR
           IS FREE TO LIVE
           IS FREE AT ALL

Post-script: Yes, to those of you who bother to read this before replying, this does form a skull with hollow eyes, a cavity of a nose and a gawking, empty mouth. And yes, this does spell «Death hunts us all, no man is free from it, is free from fear, is free to live, is free at all.» If you bothered yourself enough to read the forenote and post-scripts, then please mention so, so that I may discern the ignorant from the interested. In closing, Thanks for your time.

[This message has been edited by a_hollowman (07-02-2003 11:38 PM).]

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

1 posted 2003-07-02 07:02 PM

i like the visual effect, sometimes in poetry it enhances the effect or reading it so much more because you have to focus...i enjoyed reading this poem, and i think that rhyme scheme and meter don't matter in poetry...free verse is the way to go, but i like this...good write...

Alnilam
Member

since 2003-07-04

Posts 75

2 posted 2003-07-05 11:15 AM

It is really well written for not caring so much about the rhyme and meter.The visual effect only enhances your creativity. Great read thanks.

~*Alnilam*~
The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood.
-Jean Cocteau-

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

3 posted 2003-07-06 12:09 PM

Little words with meaning. Very nice write. Poems have been described as paintings with words and paintings as being poetic. You have found a way to mix both. I will be adding this to my library. Thanks again for the read and view.

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