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MellonCollie
Member

since 2003-04-11

Posts 117
Austria,Europe

0 posted 2003-06-28 05:53 PM

wrote this cause i was kinda dissapointed by my x-girlfriend in some way...sorry for the grammatical errors, Ií'm pretty sure there are some lines in it that aren't really grammatically correct

moments when i want to scream
moments when i cry
moments when i’m without you
moments when i die

lonely tears running down my cheek
lonesome nights when they dried
dreaming of you for so long
parts of me nearly died

don’t know what you feel
maybe i’m just thinking of me
but still i hope
you and me
once again means we

how will i laugh tomorrow
when i can't even smile today

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

1 posted 2003-06-28 11:00 PM

I can really relate to this. Thanks for the read.

-Jen

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. -Kurt Cobain

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

2 posted 2003-07-02 12:03 PM

This is a really good poem. I could feel the hurt through it. Hope everything is better now.

Ethel

Ladybug
Member

since 2003-06-17

Posts 236
Massachusetts

3 posted 2003-07-02 09:54 AM

Hi MellonCollie, love the name!

I really like this poem, it is full of emotion. Especially the last part, very beautiful. In terms of form, the meter wasn't consistent throughout, but I don't feel this took away from the poem...great job, I truly enjoyed this.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

MellonCollie
Member

since 2003-04-11

Posts 117
Austria,Europe

4 posted 2003-07-02 05:55 PM

thanks to you three...it's always a good feeling to know there's somebody out there how knows what one feels...

how will i laugh tomorrow
when i can't even smile today

Dark Kisses
Member

since 2001-06-24

Posts 364
Flat lands of Kansas

5 posted 2003-07-06 03:16 PM

"lonely tears running down my cheek
lonesome nights when they dried
dreaming of you for so long
parts of me nearly died"

Well expressed. I think in many ways, we all have felt this way. With love, comes many other thoughts and feelings. Good or bad.... it's all part of growing and loving another. Learn from each other's mistakes and go with that.

A friend, like a candle, is most needed in the darkness.

Alnilam
Member

since 2003-07-04

Posts 75

6 posted 2003-07-07 10:07 PM

i wonder sometimes, how when we are most upset about something like this it seems we best express what it does to us. great job!

~*Alnilam*~
"The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood."

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

7 posted 2003-07-08 12:29 PM

im with you. if only they'd give us one more chance.

MellonCollie
Member

since 2003-04-11

Posts 117
Austria,Europe

8 posted 2003-07-08 04:53 PM

yeah...still hopin'

[This message has been edited by MellonCollie (07-08-2003 04:53 PM).]

Bruised
Junior Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 13
Indiana, USA

9 posted 2003-07-13 01:21 AM

Good going, MellonCollie. Although, I wonder why you don't post anything on Hogwarts Castle. *wink*

~ Tenshi

"If it's too loud, you're too old!" - A Rock Artist

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

10 posted 2003-07-14 01:05 AM

Wonderful write!

Touches deep into the heart and soul

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

11 posted 2003-07-14 04:28 AM

excellent poem. It contains alot of emotion; which was portrayed very well.

MellonCollie
Member

since 2003-04-11

Posts 117
Austria,Europe

12 posted 2003-07-15 05:11 PM

thanx y'all...feels good to know there are people who understand

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