navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Smudges
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Smudges Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-06-24 06:11 PM

Eliminating all grasp
of rational rememberance

suck me under
prize me from safe

no more waiting
for light to hit your vision

still I pine
for coal black smudges

of how it once was
to be so alone whilst with you.

© Copyright 2003 gj - All Rights Reserved
Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
1 posted 2003-06-26 11:04 AM

Love this
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280
2 posted 2003-06-26 06:11 PM

Very good.  I admire the simplicity of it.  Whenever I write it's never very simple and easily understood at times.  But I'm a nutcase and that's a good poem.
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-06-28 08:10 PM

Gemma, you are certanly dark, but I prefer you in open, were more people will appreciate you. This poem was beutifully written, and bitter as heck. But I would miss you if you stayed over here in the dark too long

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for

Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
4 posted 2003-06-28 11:53 PM the only way dark poetry can...
since 2002-08-07
Posts 99
5 posted 2003-06-29 04:58 AM

moody and mystical.
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
6 posted 2003-06-29 05:58 AM

This poem really does something for me.  I just really like how it is short yet very moving at the same time.  
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
7 posted 2003-06-29 06:37 PM

nice gem . . .

trying to convince yourself
of change while wanting the old

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Smudges

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary