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Dark Poetry #3

Smudges

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-06-24 06:11 PM

Eliminating all grasp
of rational rememberance

suck me under
prize me from safe

no more waiting
for light to hit your vision

still I pine
for coal black smudges

of how it once was
to be so alone whilst with you.

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

1 posted 2003-06-26 11:04 AM

Love this

teenpoet
Member

since 2001-10-17

Posts 280
Michigan

2 posted 2003-06-26 06:11 PM

Very good. I admire the simplicity of it. Whenever I write it's never very simple and easily understood at times. But I'm a nutcase and that's a good poem.

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-06-28 08:10 PM

Gemma, you are certanly dark, but I prefer you in open, were more people will appreciate you. This poem was beutifully written, and bitter as heck. But I would miss you if you stayed over here in the dark too long

I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war,
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
-coldplay

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

4 posted 2003-06-28 11:53 PM

beautiful...in the only way dark poetry can...

Chameleon
Member

since 2002-08-07

Posts 99
Australia

5 posted 2003-06-29 04:58 AM

moody and mystical.

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

6 posted 2003-06-29 05:58 AM

This poem really does something for me. I just really like how it is short yet very moving at the same time.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

7 posted 2003-06-29 06:37 PM

nice gem . . .

trying to convince yourself
of change while wanting the old
xxoo

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