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Dark Poetry #3
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Silent Screams
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Silent Screams |
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Laqe Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 72Michigan, US |
[Note: This was written in 1999, when I was 13 - and no, it isn't true - so please, keep this in mind whilst critiquing my unchanged work. Thank you.] I lie in bed as I hear the door Please let me sleep tonight I hear your clothes as they hit the floor And I squeeze me eyes shut tight I can tell by the rhythm of your breath Tonight will be like all the others My life of pain for your ten minutes of pleasure Can't you hear my silent screams I'm standing here on my knees Please let me go Let me leave I just can't take this anymore There's no use to argue I tried that once before After you beat me, stole more of my dignity I pleaded with God for no more Can't you hear my silent screams I'm standing here on my knees Please let me go Let me leave I just can't take this anymore Tomorrow night I will escape I'll feel this pain no more You picked me up and broke me down Now it's time to even the score .Echo. [This message has been edited by Laqe (06-17-2003 05:02 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Echo - All Rights Reserved | |||
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laurie Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153canada, ontario |
well... l hate to think what brought this to mind, and l'm very glad it's not true... it's all too true for too many people, though, and you brought that to light in my mind. as l'm sure it will so many others. wow. powerfull. laurie. |
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princessdani3122 Junior Member
since 2003-05-14
Posts 18 |
I can not understand how you could write such a detailed description of feelings and events with out going through them but you did ... and very good , it was ... touching danielle |
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poet25 Junior Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 18PE, Canada |
I thought that you captured the essence of a child in emotional trauma, quite well, normally I would prefer a more emotional based poem, but this was a good facsimile. |
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Forgotenandgone Member
since 2003-05-07
Posts 52NC |
That was very well written...and thats very inmpressive work for a 13 year old...good job... Morgan C. ____________________________________________ Please dont cry when i die For i will be whatching in heaven and i dont want it to rain on my funeral... |
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JenniX Junior Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 29 |
You wrote such a descriptive poem. I cant bear to think what brought it to mind a torture of a child a stollen innocense. I truly hope things get better for you JenniX |
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Laqe Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 72Michigan, US |
I find it interesting that the majority of replies to my poem suggest it was about a child who was raped.. The way I wrote it, it was simply about a woman who is trapped in an sexually abusive relationahip. The ambiguity was an unexpected.. Hmm. .Echo. |
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