all that i cannot see - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-06-09 06:37 AM

There is no mid in my midnight
it all rolls into one dark expanse

The peeping stars are smothered
as the only witnesses

clouds hover down to my breathing space
forcing me to regurgitate the sickening air

Only the small sounds audiable
the grinding of teeth in your sleep

Amplified to cull my nights peace
whimpering anger boils under my bedsheets.

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

1 posted 2003-06-09 09:27 AM

Enjoyed the poem, especially the first 2 lines. very nice.

mysticpoe

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

2 posted 2003-06-11 09:27 PM

sounds like being smothered. Enjoyed.

You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

3 posted 2003-06-20 03:29 PM

i hate 2 sound ignorant or assume but a vent?? personal experience?? u see im not good at replying i never know what 2 say im sorry

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

4 posted 2003-06-20 03:34 PM

most enjoyable

I'm just kickin it up

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-06-20 03:37 PM

Gemma, I agree with Temptress...it sounds as though you're smothering. It made me catch my breath!!
Very good writing, Gemma...dark, but not too dark. Does that make sense?
Ethel Mae

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-06-20 03:51 PM

gem - I know too well of that no mid in midnight . . .

and panic aghhh the boiling beneath the sheets - teeth grinding . . .

amazing write here Lady
you amaze me
I know this
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (06-20-2003 03:52 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

7 posted 2003-06-20 10:06 PM

just brilliant writing gem..i can barely sleep anymore many strange thoughts in my head..life..strange acts with toothbrushes..you know crazy stuff like dat

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

8 posted 2003-06-23 07:26 AM

ooooh i'd forgotten i'd posted this, and stumbled upon these unexpected replies, thankyou. yeah, being smothered indeed, by endless trains of thought. i think theyre nearly over though, i hope.

raphael...toothbrush incidents keep me awake laughing...he heeeee.

glad u liked

love u all!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.