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Dark Poetry #3

the vortex of humanity

teenpoet
Member

since 2001-10-17

Posts 280
Michigan

0 posted 2003-05-07 11:20 AM

Wretched souls and my mind confused
I write these words
yet know not what they mean
Twisting in this vortex of life
Knives and stakes and claws
tearing at me
my blood spins out of me
lands on me leaves me
I can taste my pain
but I can not feel it
I feel...what?
lost...confused...afraid
I feel as if I am...
Nothing
I am of no importance
The world has crushed me in their haste
To where do I go
when I am no more
When I am nothing and my blood drops from me
Into this empty vortex we call humanity

Tomer
Senior Member

since 2002-06-28

Posts 1168
Michigan

1 posted 2003-05-07 03:23 PM

Very vivid, and descriptive. Well done.

By the way, what part of Michigan are you from?

Tomer

ljossberir
Member

since 2003-05-04

Posts 81
Ny, USA

2 posted 2003-05-07 05:27 PM

well done, kind of prose-like, connected the reader well with the speaker's "racing thoughts"
-matt

peaceful_dreamer
Member

since 2003-04-25

Posts 159
SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW

3 posted 2003-05-07 09:11 PM

I really like this. i coul feel i steady beat through out it. are you okay? the poem expresses a lot of hurt.
well done

there are 2 ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it. -unknown

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

4 posted 2003-05-08 02:24 PM

such a sense of hopelesness

fatal_ripsta
New Member

since 2003-05-09

Posts 2
MICHIGAN

5 posted 2003-05-09 11:50 AM

Hey girl, you got talent. Keep it comin'/ ~1~

*Brandon Miller*

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