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Dark Poetry #3

i really wish i knew

kinson
Member

since 2002-05-13

Posts 66
somewhere between here and there

0 posted 2003-04-22 09:35 PM

Is my life about to change?
I really wish I knew
I don’t regret the things I’ve done
But the things I still might do
And all those things that I might do
Well none of them is good
I told myself to prepare for this
But I never really could
Perhaps I should feel a little shame
For myself and what I am
But you know just as well as I
That I don’t give a Dead American Mullet Nown
There is no room in self-hate
To accommodate repentance
And I wish that I could shut it off
To allow for some acceptance

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

1 posted 2003-04-23 12:43 PM

I know what you're talking about. You're doing right by writing. Helps you and people like you, really. I like running into writes like this, thanks.

Lost_Soul
Junior Member

since 2003-04-17

Posts 37
California, United States

2 posted 2003-05-10 12:14 PM

This is really good. I know how you feel. writing does help a bit.

wings of the moon
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land

3 posted 2003-05-10 06:24 AM

My only critics :
punctuation... would make the piece much more effective

"I don’t regret the things I’ve done
But the things I still might do
And all those things that I might do
Well none of them is good"

isn't it, ARE good? ok, me being picky

"I told myself to prepare for this
But I never really could
Perhaps I should feel a little shame
For myself and what I am
But you know just as well as I
That I don’t give a Dead American Mullet Nown
There is no room in self-hate
To accommodate repentance
And I wish that I could shut it off
To allow for some acceptance"

couldn't have worded it better, well done, a very powerful piece

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2003-05-11 01:13 AM

I told myself to prepare for this
But I never really could
Perhaps I should feel a little shame
For myself and what I am

Aren't we all one of kind....
just think of it as the spice of life~

Liked this a lot, kinson~

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