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Dark Poetry #3

Demon's Flame

iMMuNe
Junior Member

since 2002-07-23

Posts 49
Maine, USA

0 posted 2003-03-03 06:18 PM

Burn the flame,
What a shame,
Do you feel my pain?
Do you feel what im trying to strain?

I don't think you do,
But let me explain,
Just one more time for you,
You see,

This DEMON inside
BURNS my mind,
This FLAME ignites,
What im TRYING to hide.

But its not MY fault,
Im born with this,
Its not MY fault,
I think of things that doesn't exist.

You think thats the end?
Thats where it begins
Why still,
Dont you see?!

Maybe you have to bleed,
The same way I did,
Maybe you have to feed,
Like the demon I once saw did.

The rope is tightened,
Dont let it slip,
The flames are burning,
Lets take just one last trip?

Fariegirl
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 147

1 posted 2003-03-03 07:10 PM

I REALY enjoyed this poem. It sounds like a song.

iMMuNe
Junior Member

since 2002-07-23

Posts 49
Maine, USA

2 posted 2003-03-03 08:57 PM

Thanks, I did read back at this and now you mention it, it does. Im going to revise it witha chorus to make it sound more like one. Although, thats not hardly how I planned it out to be, but thanks, gives me more ideas

Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

3 posted 2003-03-04 12:12 PM

A raw and fierce write.I enjoyed.
Jason

teenpoet
Member

since 2001-10-17

Posts 280
Michigan

4 posted 2003-04-24 01:59 PM

It really flows together and does sound much like a song. That would be a cool song you ought to make it so. I really liked it, keep up the good work.

~Keep dreaming~

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

5 posted 2003-04-28 01:44 PM

likes

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