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Neala
Member

since 1999-08-21

Posts 262
Florida, USA

0 posted 2003-03-09 05:42 PM

Everything has changed
I feel as though I am
Almost alone now
I don't know what is left of my life
It is in so many pieces
I don't know what is real or
What is fake or
What just simply hurts
Nothing is the way
I ever wanted it to be
Nothing will ever be that way

-Neala
(Goddess of Sadness)

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

1 posted 2003-03-09 07:42 PM

remarkably depressing peice.

i hope this isn't really you, but if it is, take it easy and find out what you want, getting it will be a lot easier once you are sure.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

2 posted 2003-03-09 09:17 PM

its sad really...hope things start looking up for you.

Jenn

think about this: everyone you know will someday die.

WisprWnd
Junior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 34

3 posted 2003-03-10 09:48 AM

Yea, life is hopeless sometimes. I don't know whats real anymore.
But this peice, this poem was real.
I know because I saw it.
So no matter what..
This is in the head of someone you never met. ...My eyes are real.

.....and so are you.

WisprWnd.

LastMoments
Member

since 2003-03-07

Posts 92

4 posted 2003-03-11 10:48 PM

The way you write this relates so close to me. It's kind weird almost. There is a lot of times i doubt my place and time, but all you can do is work your way through the day You will be all right, take my word for it

Neala
Member

since 1999-08-21

Posts 262
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-03-12 02:58 PM

Well I am glad you guys can relate means a lot. Thanks.

gpc
Junior Member

since 2003-03-01

Posts 43

6 posted 2003-03-12 04:29 PM

i was just going to say that this is a sad piece like everyone else but seeing as you value constructive criticism (which id often so lacking these days) I would say that the poem seemed rather simplistic to me and more of a mish-mash of ideas than a structured offering. Still, I can identify with your situation, I would just look for something more indepth, something more descriptive for a work on this particular subject.

Keep smiling, GPC.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

7 posted 2003-03-12 05:49 PM

change leaves us feeling like that easily... but then if we never had change, no good would come either. So some things we just have to face, even when they knock us from our feet.
Enjoyed the poem.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

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