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Dark Poetry #3
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Downtown Girl
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Downtown Girl |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
c'mere little girl I'm the Uptown Man downtown for the leg curl on a flim-flam plan I'll catch a falling star hang it back in your sky kiss the reaper of bizarre little darlin' make me fly I'm your dream out of nowhere sheddin' my three-piece cloth gonna bend you on a side chair and pledge to thee my troth I'm your preacher, your teacher, gonna own you for awhile I bought the double feature now you're goin' down in style she froze into position counting her negative sum to the rhythm of contrition ~~'Mama told me not to come'~~ |
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| © Copyright 2002 K. Addison Elliott - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
A little background: This is based on a rather high-class "lady of the evening" who caters to a few of the politicians of my "great" state (she is a customer where I work). She is quite vocal about her career choice. I once asked her if her family knew what she does and her response was, "My Mama taught me better, and no, my family does not know." After she answered my question, this poem came to mind, along with a song by Three Dog Night (for those old enough to remember hehehe!) titled "Mama Told Me Not To Come." |
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
I really enjoyed the beat in this piece...very song-like. Interesting and creative--I mean that in a good way, too! Zai jian Carson If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from? |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Jekyll hides in the shadows of appropriative acceptance, so long as his shadow is barely discernable in the scrutiny of his peers. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This poem almost made me want to snap my fingers as I read it. It's extremely well constructed and holds a wonderful beat right the way through. I think I'll add this to my library of chart toppin hits. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
I have to wonder about 'negative sum'? Is there an implication that she's not getting paid? In any case, I like this, the last line packs a lot of punch, even moreso, being borrowed- the allusion would add something to the poem... I don't know the song, just going on what I know of allusions here. I do often wonde about the negative stigma (and legislation) placed on prostitution here in the U.S.? I know it's kind of off topic, I guess I just don't understand why selling sex for a living is inherently bad... I mean, we're allowed to give it away...  |
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