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Dark Poetry #3
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Pain
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Pain |
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PoeticJustice Junior Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 44AK, USA |
This poem isn't as dark as the name suggests... But I had written like three in succession when I wrote this one. So I had already leeched most of the darkest feelings I had. Anyways, I'll post the others later. I wrote them the night I found out Kristi had moved (I was on vacation when she did and when I got back it was like from paradise to hell). Pain I heaved a sigh as I stared at your face, it’s features perfect and beautiful, and not at all out of place. I put down the picture and went back to my work. Looking at you was my daily perk. But good things don’t last forever... Horrible things happen to everyone, And I, I am no exception, Now I heave a sigh as I stare at your face. it’s features perfect and beautiful, and not at all out of place. I put down the picture and go back to my work. Looking at you now hurts. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Joshua Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
Hmmm...I kinda liked this piece, as it left some room for the imagination to create twists in the end. Very nice! Zai jian Carson If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from? |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Interesting way of describing the changing flow of emotions that goes through the speaker's mind as it gazes at the photograph. Horrible things happen to everyone, And I, I am no exception, You might like to end this stanza with a period. But other than that the stanza is well done. It is crafted well for speaking. It goes well with the first line of the next stanza. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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