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Dark Poetry #3
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2002-10-05 12:58 PM



He sits on the
Sink with eyes open,
As his caterpillar vault leaves
Him stronger.

A sheer sniff of rediscovery
Leaves a sink forever desolate.

As he walked 10,000 miles with
With feet of detailed smell,
His perseverance told a lonely tale.

A man with a future,
For he was unable to see,
His own repetitious floundering
Left him 2 stones down from the one he had foreseen.

The years slowly went by, as did he.
It’s revealing age wrinkled through his lonely pores.

As he returns to his box,
He finds himself sheltered on the cusp of the sink,
Water forever flowing with timeless effort.

© Copyright 2002 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2002-10-05 01:11 AM


Wow. This post wrapped me in a chilly cocoon. Well done! Nice to meet you, on the cusp of the sink.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2002-10-06 08:58 AM


I'm liking this...I'd like to return and give you more detailed commentary when I'm not so tired...will try and do so if I have time.

Suffice to say - this is good poetry Tomer...

K

Amaranthine
Member
since 2002-10-06
Posts 61
ON Canada
3 posted 2002-10-06 04:05 PM


Very impressive.  Strikingly desolate, while at the same time coldly objective.  I found this poem sinking into my subconscious like a stone into a well.  Touche.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-10-07 12:21 PM


Excellent, Tomer. Glad you see you posting here again. Made me think of someone looking at the cold runnel of water in the sink, night after night, rather seeing that than the mirror.
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