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Dark Poetry #3
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-10-01 05:28 PM


I leave a hollow in myself
so to hear the echoes made
dropping stones --
those smooth, dead words --
into still and silent face.

Unmoved surface leaving rain,
shadows' swallowed shade.
Glass is but a tranquil pool.
Untouched.
Of no place.

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
1 posted 2002-10-01 05:31 PM


Hey, shh, no be angsty, even if it's beautiful angst, k?

your tongue's like poison
so swollen it fills up my mouth

rs

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-10-01 05:46 PM


*kiss* Awright. I love you. Thanks for lovin' me back...
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

3 posted 2002-10-01 09:37 PM


Your extended metaphorical comparison between the face and a body of water is carried through this poem with extreme grace and beauty.  I also detected a subtle Biblical allusion to Revelation.  I don't know if you intended it but it contributes well to the poem:


Glass is but a tranquil pool.
Untouched.
Of no place.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

nolon
Junior Member
since 2002-09-25
Posts 20
Louisiana,Unitedstates
4 posted 2002-10-02 05:49 AM


That was rather powerful. Nice choice of words.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-10-02 12:06 PM


Thank you both. And no, I did not realize I had linked up to the Book of Revelations in this poem. Which part alludes?
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