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Dark Poetry #3

Welling

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-10-01 05:28 PM

I leave a hollow in myself
so to hear the echoes made
dropping stones --
those smooth, dead words --
into still and silent face.

Unmoved surface leaving rain,
shadows' swallowed shade.
Glass is but a tranquil pool.
Untouched.
Of no place.

Anvrill
Senior Member

since 2002-06-21

Posts 710
in the interzone now

1 posted 2002-10-01 05:31 PM

Hey, shh, no be angsty, even if it's beautiful angst, k?

your tongue's like poison
so swollen it fills up my mouth

rs

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-10-01 05:46 PM

*kiss* Awright. I love you. Thanks for lovin' me back...

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

3 posted 2002-10-01 09:37 PM

Your extended metaphorical comparison between the face and a body of water is carried through this poem with extreme grace and beauty. I also detected a subtle Biblical allusion to Revelation. I don't know if you intended it but it contributes well to the poem:

Glass is but a tranquil pool.
Untouched.
Of no place.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

nolon
Junior Member

since 2002-09-25

Posts 20
Louisiana,Unitedstates

4 posted 2002-10-02 05:49 AM

That was rather powerful. Nice choice of words.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-10-02 12:06 PM

Thank you both. And no, I did not realize I had linked up to the Book of Revelations in this poem. Which part alludes?

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