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Dark Poetry #3
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D edgar Grey
Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174
Hell...(aka Wisconsin)

0 posted 2002-09-19 10:39 PM


I see you
Passion fills me
Your beautiful face
Teases my senses
Looking at your
Tantalizing body
I gently touch
Your soft skin
Kiss me again
My sweet reflection

----------------------------------------------------

My English teacher is totally in love with this piece, but I seem to not notice the charm. Any suggestions before it goes to print?

"cherry blossoms"

Floating to the ground
Light pink in your soft colour
End my memories

© Copyright 2002 Carson - All Rights Reserved
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

1 posted 2002-09-19 11:12 PM


Heh, this is a really good piece of irony.  The charm is in the fact that you begin with some very seductive imagery, causing your reader to assume that the speaker is talking about a member of the opposite sex that he/she finds sexually attractive.  You then close the poem with the revelation that the speaker is actually addressing his/her reflection.  This is an example of narcisism.  I can see why your teacher is "in love" with your poem.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

Match
Member
since 2002-07-01
Posts 286
Canada Edmonton
2 posted 2002-09-19 11:26 PM


Aww this poem cracks me up Needed a  good laugh thanks and I loved your poem.

~*Azi*~

Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
3 posted 2002-09-20 10:38 PM


Someone had a big slice of me cake today

no seriously its cool descripion of vanity I like it too

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

leafseranade
Member
since 2001-07-06
Posts 118
Wisconsin, USA
4 posted 2002-09-22 09:50 PM


Remember that a piece can be interprated, liked, disliked, by each individual reader.  I hope you decide to let this be printed because every chance you get for more people to read your work, the more responces you'll get and more satisfaction knowing people are being (hopefully) affected by the poems.
FuzzyFrazzledFraggle
Member
since 2002-09-20
Posts 155
Fraggle Rock
5 posted 2002-09-22 09:54 PM


hmmm..vanity..sweet reflection you have here..very provoking..enjoyed..

Consider yourself fuzzed

arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england
6 posted 2002-09-23 05:22 AM


never believe what you see
It is all an illusion
arthur
liked it
clever write

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-09-23 05:35 PM


D.E.G. --

Hold the poem this way,
I want to comb my hair.

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