A death in the snow (California winter) (repost from open 20)

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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-09-04 12:49 PM

This poem got a bloody awful reception when it was first posted. Sheesh, it's only death.

Mike

A death in the snow (California winter)
I love the snow
covering the palm trees,
weighty gifts of crystal rain for the fronds.

I love the snow
sparkling under sunlight
near the shoreline, roadside slopes of dry scrub.

I love the snow
falling slow in white drifts,
winding over Joshua trees, cacti head and arms.

I love the snow
rotting out strawberries,
spice-red gumdrops softening in ice before the thaw.

I love the snow
blighting family vineyards,
grapes hardening marble stones falling with the morn.

I love the snow
freezing dry the chaparral,
casting poppies, oleander into sculptured form.

I love the snow
icing up the hillsides,
changing freeway into tundra, too white to be warm.

I love the snow.
I feel empty tonight.
I wish that it were winter
to be buried in its light.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (09-04-2002 02:36 PM).]

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

1 posted 2002-09-04 02:01 PM

I love the snow as well---good thing too, since I live in Ontario! I truly don't understand why this poem wasn't received well in it's original posting. This is one of my favourites of yours. You make me see and feel through your eyes, through your experience. Most people don't take the take to really 'see' what's happening around them. This is a very poignant piece.

Linda

Anvrill
Senior Member

since 2002-06-21

Posts 710
in the interzone now

2 posted 2002-09-04 03:20 PM

Baby, I remember this. But pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease don't say "it's only death," not right now.

*I* feel empty. Give it time, though, right? *sigh*

I miss her, Mikhail...

your tongue's like poison
so swollen it fills up my mouth

rs

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-09-04 03:33 PM

Linda, I'm glad you enjoyed this poem. This was one of the first ones when I really took the time to craft my words, rather than let them flow in mad spew across the page. I liked the results -- and it's become a template of my poetry since.

Lori, I know y' miss Fidget. *kiss* I do, too, and I only met her for one week. I'm glad I had th' chance to. I love you, and will always be here for you, baby.

*immer und fur ewigkeit hug*

I love you.

Mikhail

Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

4 posted 2002-09-04 05:37 PM

Mike,

This was great, nothing wrong with death particularly in this context, because it also makes me think of spring and the rebirth of these things.

Great words as usual,

Zall

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-09-04 11:18 PM

Thank you, Zall. This is sorta Joy Division-ish before I knew they existed.

Mike

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

6 posted 2002-09-05 01:12 AM

well,
the blackest white i've seen
though I know the feeling?
couldn't say it like this
subtle sitting staring
quiet white cold
envy of the buried
soul
brrrrrrrmike
brian

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-09-05 01:19 AM

Thanks, brian...

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

8 posted 2002-09-05 09:44 PM

Very nice work...

Enjoyed
DeaDiAmore

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

9 posted 2002-09-06 01:31 PM

, DDA.

.m.

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