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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-08-27 12:13 PM

I huff my breath in fogged dance,
and take my sleeve to wipe it true.
I swipe the lines of circumstance--
I notice there are hues of blue
reflected in the looking glass--
there be no place to run and hide
my pupils shrivel their repast
I yearn to see, but curse my eyes.

always staring, back at me--
a finger wagged, accusing deed.

My eyes?
They are not beautiful.
My eyes
are soldiers dutiful--
My eyes show my obscenity--

My eyes report my past to me...

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (08-27-2002 12:14 AM).]

Dragon Mistress
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 289
Washington, USA.

1 posted 2002-08-27 02:35 AM

This was good...I liked it a lot!!

~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

2 posted 2002-08-27 03:50 AM

the mirror lies!
a silvered glass
cannot forsee
expected sight
indulged

ease up on yoself
or
use my eyes
brian

Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

3 posted 2002-08-27 04:39 AM

Great piece, to make your work ryhme and remain raw and expressive takes real skill.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

4 posted 2002-08-27 12:32 PM

Hey witch! Liked the whole of it, (relating) but this pretty much said it all. No?

"My eyes?
They are not beautiful.
My eyes
are soldiers dutiful--
My eyes show my obscenity--

My eyes report my past to me..."

~wranx

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-08-27 01:13 PM

"What color are your eyes?"
"The past."

Mike

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-08-10 01:07 AM

Good God, they do know, dont they?
hairs standing up on arms here K
brilliant

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

7 posted 2003-08-10 02:37 AM

What happens happens and cant be changed. Its kind of like knowing something and not wanting too. Nice write.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

8 posted 2003-08-10 09:49 AM

Speechless...

Susan

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

9 posted 2003-08-14 12:45 PM

"i yearn to see, but curse my eyes"
freaking great!!!

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

10 posted 2003-08-14 10:41 PM

I'm lost for words...you're brill Karen.

keeping this...

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

11 posted 2003-08-23 09:56 AM

The eye's are what they say they are. Enjoyed the read.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

12 posted 2003-08-24 10:31 AM

this needs to breathe . . . again

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