Dark Poetry #3 |
Teacher |
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I hesitated posting this in "Open", so it shall reside in "Dark". We met in a bar Across the fence Of neighboring stools A quaint acquaintance “Stranger?” “To you, at least” “You?” “Sometimes” Chitchatted bar snacks Pursued meatier matters Her? A schoolteacher Me? Outlaw, alluded Would she like? Would I like? Hers? Too far Mine? Too close Too messy Too crowded Motel, mentioned Seconded No quorum quandaries A unanimous pass And we two Crowded close into Her quick trip Cadillac (A schoolteacher?) No check check-in Cash only green Plastic numbered tag Allows access To the Rumple Room Starting clean With shower show Showing pierced nipple (An odd accessory in “72”) (A teacher, she said) I exit bath to smoke Search, find her purse A light inside? Too heavy, surprise 5 shot snubnose Not polite, nor lady-like (Schoolteacher?) Cylinder swings open Empties into palm No pockets! Scatters of brass Into parking lot As if feeding Automobile chickens And turn back Toward the bed To wait and see Just what it is I might learn from this Schoolteacher ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". ~wranx~ [This message has been edited by wranx (08-20-2002 05:07 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
quite a teacher! I was laughing TOO hard at visual of throwing bullets around the parking lot like feeding chickens This is like the old narratives but leaner and mixed with the newer wordplay A Schoolteacher? brian I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
And on that oblique note, CLASS DISMISSED! Powerful, and yet playful in it's dark imagery. Again, you perfectly manipulate words. I was impressed and amused. "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm |
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E New Member
since 2002-08-19
Posts 7between the rouge |
I like your sound. Lovely to chew. Ariel was always my favorite babe. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Bullets as chicken feed, a snub nose in a purse, and a pierced nipple shower show. Hope you studied for the evening. M. |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Smooches.... ti amo DeaDiAmore |
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arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
way beyond my horizon of experiance arthur |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Whoa! I like your style. This poem is well done, with an intriguing sense of rhythm. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Scarlet Lady Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242Midwest |
OMG!!! Just had to absolutely roll!!! Yet.......fantisize! Gez....what ya tryin to do to a gal??? What a piece here ( a 5 shot snubnose)?? I was very "amuzzzzzzzzed". It takes A LOT to amuse me. Anyway, enough of my rambling. Just a great, great, read for me personally. I thinks I might of even been the school teacher!!! |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
And if only all had the keen insight into the true nature of automobile chickens... Only you, wranx, friend. Only you. "Waiter, I'll have the witty sardonism on wry...thank you." Good job. [This message has been edited by Purity (08-24-2002 03:42 AM).] |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
Those chitchatted barsnacks... it was chit, right? Can't get that taste outta my oriface Nice, humorous, "Catcher in the Rye" kinda flow. Oops, I said rye...pun intended "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm |
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Zall Member
since 2002-08-25
Posts 214London, England |
Love the 'automobile chickens' |
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chitsank Member
since 2002-08-13
Posts 88 |
Iliked this one. LOL |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
Boy did I get quite the picture when I saw this school teacher. Hmm...great work! Me like!! hehe |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
this is wayy to good to hide . . . *evil grin* xxoo |
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