»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #3
»
Alone
| Dark Poetry #3 |
|
Alone |
|
|
dj29 Junior Member
since 2002-08-19
Posts 13Florida |
I know lonliness i know it well it seems to be my life and hell Ive cried before through the night pain and sorrow, the enemies in this endless fight so as I sit I cant help but cry I relize now that I want to die but you dont care, how could you know that im seeling so very low all you care about is yourself because this world is bent on power and wealth but noone cares I am alone my pain and sorror will remain unknown untill the day that I lay and die untill the day that you see me and cry i shall remain in this prison unknown sad weeping and utterly alone......... |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Daniel J. Feola - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
You've misspelt a few things ... that's all I see wrong with your poem. It's very good. It expresses familiar feelings ... you're not alone. Continue writing. -raVen- (sara) |
||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Hi there, this is the first of your poems I have read and will check in to read more. You depicted lonliness extremely well in this poem, from a perspective of chosen silence. I have only one suggestion if I may, and that is to do your work in word or some word processing package, spell check it, and then copy and paste that into the "New Topic" area, and presto all (or most) mistakes are corrected for you. Other than that small suggestion, I think you are going to like it here, and welcome to Passions. The most valuable thing you own is a smile, wear it, and share it. Sharon  [This message has been edited by Mysteria (08-20-2002 12:16 AM).] |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
well at least you're not like me, not wanting to be around people...I'm a loner myself. Now and then, I feel alone but it doesn't get me like it used to. |
||
|
dj29 Junior Member
since 2002-08-19
Posts 13Florida |
Thank you spelling was a mistake of mine....i was typing while looking at what i had written on the page. But thank you for the spell check idea ill do that from now on  With Love, Dj29 |
||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Great job on this. I've already told you that, but oh well, I'm saying it again. You know how I feel about all those spelling goofs...  don't make me take you back to 8th grade English!  You're more creative than you give yourself credit for, my dear. Keep 'em coming. Jenn Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
||
|
Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
May I welcome you to passions (bit late I know ). But you have summed loneliness quite good and sometimes i feel the same. Hope to hear more from you.If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
