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Dark Poetry #3
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Sarah Pardee Winchester
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Sarah Pardee Winchester |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa 
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They get confused and lost. I need heat for my 2,000 doors. 1906 was my fault. They get confused and lost in my 2,000 doors seal it up. she rests. 2,000 doors and thirteen is my secret and the daisy is my secret "these same thoughts people this little world". The lights for them or the nowhere for the others. Must need lights for the nowhere seal it up the 10,000 windows to see my 6 kitchens to be the blue room for me this is what I want done. And 47 stairways the medium told me so to go round and around so they rest. You! Don't look at me! but for the three that see me I play my organ is what I want done and Seal It Up! The medium told me so in my blueroom. The 6 kitchens and 47 stairways you ring the bell at 2 and 12 and thirteen. I see you bathing only the finest for me and for those killed by Winchester. Seen through 10,000 windows my child and my husband gone don't look at me. Thirteen is my heat the medium told me so. My child and my husband I see in 47 fireplaces and 47 stairways. The spider web "wide unclasps the tables of their thoughts". Black hand do not look at Me! she rests 7 and 11 and 47 fireplaces. The three that see me know 1906 was my fault the 10,000 windows confuse and lose the bad ones not my child and husband. Haunted I am by 160 rooms I go round and around to please those killed by Winchester and 1906 was my fault. 6 kitchens for me and the spirits 13 baths to wash my sin of the web the web the web the three that see me. Oh the pain the spirits that haunt me haunt the 13 baths. I hear you spirits I need you servants More Light! I need you my child and husband the pain my secret killed by Winchester rifles the web 160 rooms round and around they rest only the finest the pain she rests she rests she rests she rests she rests she rests she rests she rests she rests she rests she rests she rests she rests |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I am wondering if you know just what you did to my head. *smile at that, anyway* I am a student of numerology and thus? found many "master" numbers of spirituality indicated, which implied a "different" sort of interpretation. I did view this as "loose" free verse--since I know you know the guidelines--smiling..BUT...I do feel, and since you encourage critique, that you might find you would get better flow if you lose a few "prepositions" etc... I would love to see this JOLT down the scroll! (and? there happens to be a free verse workshop going on) Don't get me wrong...I love the fabric of this. I just wanna see it stitched together!  |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
I encourage critiques?!?!?!  you are right I do usually like to JOLT down the screen but, I like to write in different styles and I like to TRY to stay true to my topic in this case a poor demented lady from 1880 to 1920 so I tried to be stilted in the language don't know if it worked ,but twas purposeful also, do you mean it should have been in prose? I thought about that but put it here instead. Thanks for the read BS |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
GET BACK HERE... smile...? and honestly? no. I didn't understand this. But? I could emphasize with the emotion. Wasn't my intention to upset you...I apologize, if that is what I did. |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
you couldn't upset me, lady K yous bein a moderator, thas all I'm just a stubborn ass and I'm sorry for any terseness A feeble attempt at experimenting with words Brian |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
actually? not trying to be a moderator... sigh... was trying to be a friend? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
just one more thing? it's not worth little stars to me--to lose friends. If for one second you think? I typed a different opinion because of an extra star beside my name? I resign. NO PROBLEM. I prefer to be MYSELF first. |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
I'm glad to hear you say that cause I can ditto and you've got to stop sighing on my account Karen because you do toooo much of that already Hug Brianfriend |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
nono you go to fast damn it no resigning! please I am sorry read above reply I didn't mean you only did that because of being a moderator, but you are being a perfect one by encouraging and offering help. Karen, look, who's the newbie idiot here ME and you better stay my friend or else you'll get tired of me floundering brian |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is all I was talking about...and y'can't stop me from sighing..I WAS BORN THAT WAY. They get confused and lost. I need heat for my 2,000 doors. (1906 was my fault.) They get confused and lost in my 2,000 doors seal it up. she rests... It ain't about damned thing else..but this.  |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
yeah, I see and that's why I, and everyone else needs you here. well, the fool will now stop chiseling the finite patience of PIP and slunk on back to bed Karen, thank you for putting up with me-- slunk |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling again...tsk-t-slunk? It's just about the time when a man admits himself a fool--things really start getting interesting! <--I hadta do it...I'm BAD...   dream sweet. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Smiling at the converse verse... Brian... the Winchester House IS quite a sight... on quite a site. I like the way you did this in prosy... BUT...dang. I'd really like to see it freefall down the page, as well blame that on my free-verseaholism problem... so...heh... when you bring this back to us, say, in another forum? in a few days/weeks/or in the poetry workshop? could we see another version? PUHLEEZE? |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Just wanna ask?? Have you all SEEN this house?? amazin I tell you!!! Blows a blonde away in a sec...then on to my catlike grace (meow) Love this emotional description... And mybri??? quit tippy toein around here and GRIN.... that's better. just the D Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Well, this reads as mad as a hatter. Hopin' this is what you was "gunnin'" fer. Oh! damn, I just cracked myself up! HEHEHEHEHeHeHeHeheheheheheeeeeee ~wranx (I'm better now) In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
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misery_made_beautiful Junior Member
since 2002-08-10
Posts 36 |
Wow!, Just reading all the replies can make you go mad! Anywho, It might be b/c you told me about your visit and what you had seen, but I really liked it. Started off somewhat sane and grew slowly maddening. I felt if I was in her head and can hear all her babbling thoughts. Anyway, I thought it was kewl dude, thumbs up! The Bri-ster does it again! "Aging keeps life interesting" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I just apologized to brian for my half-assed commentary--I DID love the content and description--but was distraught at that time, as I felt the form could be improved. And that was just my opinion. (This is why I tend to avoid critique--I am not very good at it.) and? I can be VISCIOUS (YOU SHOULD HEAR WHAT I SAY TO MYSELF SOMETIMES) mea culpa again, bri... |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
there is absolutely no reason for you to be apologising here. In fact, it was pointed out to me that I was ENCOURAGING CRITIQUES! in my profile! Oh Yeah! Duh Brain strikes again! jeez.. and when YOU give a half-assed reply they'll shut this place down Yer just to serene for that brian I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
What's all the commotion? Great, strange, Lynchian, Poe-etic verse here.To actually discuss its meaning would be to defuse the bomb. Loved it, b.s. |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
well I prefer poetry to do the same as serinty and sunshine are trying to explain. But it was a good poem and I appriate your reasons for it so I'm going to read it again and add it to my library If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
thank you everybody |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Smiling and chuckling at this meeting of two beautiful minds. Hugs to both..  "My friends are my estate." |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh man, you two still crack me up a whole year later. Happy Anniversary to tow of my favorite people  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*ahem* (serenity looks left.) (serenity looks right.) sneak attack thank you bri... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
the moth is late for everything... happy anniversary me groovy ones. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
came back for more kisses... (brian has ruined a perfectly good witch...) love you bri... |
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