Dark Poetry #3 |
strip cell |
brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
....into the demon womb.... one step below death is the cold metal lover of naked flesh, the dripping concrete of the void You are single cell --amoeba flicker of pallid cavelife recoiling from lightning pain batwing smiles below deafened eyes rictus gluts on darkness -- tastes the infinite-- drops crumbs of absolute zero gather them make your bed then when ready- slough the membrane expose the gibbering star of nucleus twirling at the center of the universe swell with madness consume the black ice fill the 5 by 9 until reborn back into the life I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
my. smile. I'm trying to make contact with the ground over here. I feel like I should be sweating. very intense journey of a write--still trying to shake it off-- and? that's a compliment! deep, dark, and thoroughly captivating! |
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beccymelling Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 31Birmingham, England |
Wow. You have an amazing use of imagery in this poem. I really liked it. this stanza: You are single cell --amoeba flicker of pallid cavelife recoiling from lightning pain Was my personal favourite. I cant wait to read more of your work. Beccy |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
thank you serenity. Glad to have moved you. Beccy, thank you for the kind reply. I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Brian...This is great work....I love it!!!! DeaDiAmore |
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misery_made_beautiful Junior Member
since 2002-08-10
Posts 36 |
Yo, good one! "Aging keeps life interesting" |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
interesting...not one you can read in one go and say 'yup, got it all'.... I like K |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Was thinking to tip my can to ya..but hell~ I think I should be tippin more than that...maybe a case...or more... or a dance? This is darkly inviting siBri...I just love it when you let your mind wander into things like this... yep, D likes it!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
very kwel i like it If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
This emits a darkly wet hollow ringing. Tis an ugly sound. Twas a lovely read. Good stuff! ~wranx The shortest distance between two points... |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
"slough" was just the sinker... I just wrote Alan Dean Foster an e-mail regarding my having picked up his "Spellsinger" series again after over ten years, and still amazed at his pennmanship and humorous wit in "outside reality" writings... He wrote back thanking for the kind words...and within 8 hours of writing the author!! Truly we all are but of the same emotional lineage... yet, you hold a grasp that squeezes out the smut, and leaves behind the truths of our journey. I'm impressed once again, Brian... Good job, you Spellsinger, you! [This message has been edited by Purity (08-12-2002 02:27 AM).] |
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shadowchild458 Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 117MN,USA |
happy happy happy everybody's happy (the words a man screamed at the corner of a street in china town) yet this is not true...and you write of it SO well!! i loved it keep writing and once in a while..don't forget to laugh. life may just take a while but i guess heaven's worth the wait |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I love the darkness you make for this forum, Brian. |
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desolation angel Junior Member
since 2002-08-11
Posts 20east coast |
i am absolutely no good at nice poetic comments on poems like some of these wonderful people are, but that was cold and labyrinthine and lovely. awesome. don't undress my love |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
thanks everybody for the kind replies I appreciate them BS |
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