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Dark Poetry #3
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The Day
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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The Day |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon 
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The day is satiated full with the sorrow I fed it no longer hungry maybe it will not feed off my loneliness and the dark will come in due time as it should. WhiteRose There are a million messages, |
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| © Copyright 2002 Anne Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ooo ... that last line is like chewing glass -- and *liking* it... Mike |
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beccymelling Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 31Birmingham, England |
Hi Whiterose I really liked this. A minor point : "The day is satiated (full) with the sorrow" - since satiated and full mean the same thing I would loose full as unnecessary. Thanks for sharing Beccy |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Very nice work.... Enjoyed. DeaDiAmore |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hey there....liking this one a lot... I wonder - a small suggestion - have you thought about playing with the line spacings in this? Separating a few lines out can work wonders for a small, free verse poem..  K |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
I get days like that  If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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