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Dark Poetry #3
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HeartBeats
Junior Member
since 2002-08-03
Posts 16
TX

0 posted 2002-08-04 05:36 AM


how close the distant mountain
how bright the child's eyes
how beautiful the sunset
just before its demise

when cold descends on summer
she pays a chilling cost
she begs, she pleads
she fights, she bleeds
but her innocence is lost

how grey the world of color
how silent is the noise
how lonely the front runner
once dreams are destroyed

when warmth melts through the winter
sun lights up her day
she hopes, she feels
she prays, she heals
yet -
the pain won't go away...

© Copyright 2002 Michael R. Brenner - All Rights Reserved
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
1 posted 2002-08-04 09:03 AM


Yeah the pains always there. But nice writing.

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-08-06 01:12 PM


I want to throw a warm hug around this poem.

Said if I only could ...
-KB

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-08-06 02:52 PM


how close the distant mountain
how bright the child's eyes
how beautiful the sunset
just before its demise

when cold descends on summer
she pays a chilling cost
she begs, she pleads
she fights, she bleeds
but her innocence is lost
===================================

How beautiful your poetry
how heart breaking the truth ...
When innocence is taken too soon
so much more is lost than youth.

Welcome to Passions...your gift of rhyme and expression is impressive...your poetic phrasing made this tender write.
I look forward to reading more of your work.
take care,
jm

Tell me we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
Ill be captivated, Ill hang from your lips
Instead of the heartache from above

Jessica
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350
South AL
4 posted 2002-08-06 08:34 PM


I don't know if you actually experienced this yourself but you wrote it wonderfully. Actually, there are so many more emotions that come with this that you can write a million diffrent things about it and nothing be similar... you got to the point and I like that.  As most in here know this happened to me when I was 12, I wrote about it a lot but now I have kinda tried to stray away from it but I think ya'll are about to see it again cause this past weekend I had to go through the same thing again but this guy can't be punished... you know - this big [edit] that can't be touched with tons of money and land. He was 62. I know. I'm so sorry I have given my life history... by the way... Welcome To Passions! I know you will love it here... everyone seems to be extremely close and we welcome anyone and everyone. I loved your poem... I can't wait for more...


(no, I don't have a split personality... I just don't want to let it get to me like it did before... he's gonna pay in his own way)

~Rambling Jess

[This message has been edited by Severn (08-07-2002 08:25 PM).]

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