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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Lack of you
Dark Poetry #3
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WhileIWasGone
Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486
0 posted 2002-08-01 02:35 AM


No breeze to move them
the leaves sulk for lack of you
gentle rain washed tears

windchimes are silent
music stops for lack of you
dew drops without a whisper
rusting heart and chimes


© Copyright 2002 Dea_Di_Amore - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
1 posted 2002-08-01 11:57 AM

I'm wavering between whether I want the first stanza to have an extra line or not, but I don't see what that line would be. Perfect wording and execution. Wonderful haunted feeling.

Said if I only could ...
-KB
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
2 posted 2002-08-01 11:58 AM

Oh, and cool pic, DDA!

Said if I only could ...
-KB
WhileIWasGone
Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486
3 posted 2002-08-01 12:45 PM

Well thank you very much bsquirrel.
Your right it does need an extra line...
maybe I'll think of one soon. I have writers  block (for like 2 mths now) and I have been trying my best to break it. Grrrrr don't you just hate that?

Hey you have a cool pic also...thanks for reading and the kind replies.

DeaDiAmore
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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Lack of you

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