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Dark Poetry #3
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flowers in my tomb
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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flowers in my tomb |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa 
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I gaze at the beautiful pale yellow flower. That is why I like this restaurant. I come here often. You see, in this ugly city, this place, ahhh this place......they pick the flowers from a little garden out back and put them on the tables. It makes me forget for a while, you know. Oh, no, but this vase has a crack in it! That is not good! I will point this out to the waitress. OH WAI... ahh I can not move my head, my arm. What is wrong with me? What is that smell? Did they burn something in the kitchen? Why is everybody screaming? Something is wrong! Why can't I move? HELP ME I CANT MOVE ahhhhhhhhhhh........ the wine was bad I think tastes like... tastes like.... when I was a kid we would put coins in our mouths I don't know why.... .....silly kids....... strange......my flower is half red now and I see a reflection of it on the table oh..oh the table is red now too I do not remember that.... that bad wine is making me so sleepy.. ...no No I have put my head down on the table I am embarrassed.......but I can not sit up what is wrong with me? why is everybody screaming? someone has walked by me waitress? she has such beautiful shoes beautiful red shoes..... beautiful red flower shoes why do they put it in a broken vase i am so sleepy i hope no one will notice what is wrong with me why is everybody screaming at my red flower......... ~~" A carbomb exploded in front of a busy downtown restaurant today, killing sixteen people and wounding 43 others. Apparently this is in retaliation for......"~~ I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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| © Copyright 2002 brian sites - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Wow! Gripping, intense, needed. Thank you for writing this, brian. Said if I only could ... |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Very nice work..... DeaDiAmore |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Loved the intensity of this one si-bri (notice you get shorter and shorter) lol... You have touched deep upon the challenge with personal feeling...and? I could not imagine being there then... loved this one...you should be *proud* sighing yet again... ~D Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
This one was just grand, Brian...grand, indeed! Very Poe-etic, yet deservingly so for its originality! Total hats off!!! Read intensely all the way to bulletin end! |
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secretlife Member
since 2002-07-30
Posts 359Grean Earth ,,, |
Its great.. I like ur work.. Its abit strange ,,,,thats make it defferent....sooooo keep going.... Good luck dear,, Secretlife, (Easy come,,Easy go) |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Kwel I like it very distrubing  If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
now THIS is different! I liked this much, at first I wasn't sure where you were taking me (and frankly not quite sure where I ended up) but it was a helluva ride! very nice work here, bri. |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
Disturbinlgy amazing..so very good!! Yes I agree you are very Poe like in your words as I can sense in just one reading... Kristen |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Good Lord! Sorry dude, I missed this one (well, replying to it anyway) |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Very Intense...very gripping Susan C. |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
this was wonderful Brian, you had me from the first line. Great Work  A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
God, this was amazing Bri . . . tastes like.... when I was a kid we would put coins in our mouths EXACTLY - copper metallic iron xxoo |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Brian?...wow...just, wow! This is an incredible write, my friend. Powerfully and effectively done. Hugs,  ~Vicky "So here I am with pockets full of good intentions |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
great poem, i loved the story, ver captivating...  "in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums" |
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