Dark Poetry #3 |
Cold Hands |
Dragon en Morta Junior Member
since 2002-07-31
Posts 12 |
A foggy mist. Grey-green grass. Tombstones scattered about. Black dresses and suits. Umbrellas span like black-capped mushrooms. Cold cheeks. Very cold fingers. Sore eyes and red. Damp smell of cut grass. Sorrow. Weeping. Death. oooOOOooo Mother so warm so kind. She loved me with all her heart. I left her to die alone In a cold room kept by strangers. Closing door as I left. She reached. I drove off. Abandonment. Bewilderment and darkness. Cold hands took care of her. oooOOOooo Warm, sunny, and happy. Clean air all around. Light. Children about. Wine glass half full. Favorite loafers afoot. A letter with cold writing across it. No stamp. Black letters written in hand. oooOOOooo Time to heal the wounds. Vacations and soccer trips. Long days with lemonade. Sweaty brows. Cut knees. Graduations and marriage toasts. Retirement and grandchildren. Wonderful bliss turns cold. A weeping husband am I. An old foolish man with smooth hands. Cold hands. Very cold hands. oooOOOooo A closing door. Hand outreached. Heart clenched and knotted. Horror and reality touch. Closing eyes with redness. Dry and cold skin. A lonely stare out a pristine window. Cold hands taking care of me. Very clean and cold hands. [This message has been edited by Dragon en Morta (07-31-2002 04:04 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Dragon en Morta - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dragon en Morta Junior Member
since 2002-07-31
Posts 12 |
Whoops, there should be line breaks designated with (oooOOOooo) between the parts where two sentences are posted right after each other. Not sure how that happened. By the way, my name is Dragon en Morta. You can call me Dragon, Draggie, or something close to that, so long as I'm not offended. I'm not sure if this is the place I'm supposed to post my poem, but looks like others are doing it so... when in Rome... you know the rest. I look forward to reading some of the stuff here and maybe getting to know some of you in the process. I hope you enjoy. Dragon |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Drag'n Great piece. Actually, outstanding. Oh, By the way, welcome to PiP and the "Dark" forum. Lots of talented folks here, waiting to get acquainted with your wordworks. ~wranx The shortest distance between two points... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Awesome, awesome, awesome. Very lyrical and fire-breathin' of y'. Mike (who, on the Chinese Zodiac, is a Fire Dragon ... making me a ....... dragonsquirrel???) Said if I only could ... |
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Dragon en Morta Junior Member
since 2002-07-31
Posts 12 |
Hey, thanks for the quick feedback. I'm pleased to see that this is being well received. I'm actually more of a short story writer. I have over 40 of them written and displayed on fanstory.com. Most of the good ones are up for sale, but it's pretty cheap. Not sure what that means for my stories Any poems you guys have in particular that you would like me to review? Dragon |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
My advice? Read around and reply to what you enjoy. Be dwarfed by the sheer amount of poetry in Open. Traipse through the shadows of Dark. Have a pint at the Corner Pub. Join in some Discussions. Take a Challenge or two. Above all, enjoy yr time here! It's only a poetry site, but one that can/could/will help you meet and greet and learn about the lives of some amazing writers. Gee, do I like this place? Again, welcome! Said if I only could ... -KB [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (07-31-2002 02:31 PM).] |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
excellent like the style very much would like to read more BS. I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Hello you!! I'm the one that sneaks in a bit late!!?? grins... enjoyed the clear and scriptive writing here...always always, we LOVE emotion-packed pieces!! Hope you enjoy yourself here...glad to see you postin!!! take care ~D Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
This was such a refreshing piece, and magnamiously well done. Welcome to our venting place, and for bringing along a most tasty feast. I will look forward with eager anticipation more offerings from your particular palate, Dragon! Again, Welcome! [This message has been edited by Purity (08-02-2002 01:32 AM).] |
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Dragon en Morta Junior Member
since 2002-07-31
Posts 12 |
Thanks for the great replies! Hey, Purity. I used to live in NC. Where abouts are you from? I myself lived in Raleigh for 15 years before moving to Nowhere, Kansas. Again, thanks for all the welcomes. Dragon |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Welcome to passions look forward to seing u again cos this was good and so original If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
I was gonna e-mail you a response, Draggie, but decided that even though discussions of "where you hang your hat presently" might not be totally appropo to intended cohesiveness of this whole thingy, responding here to your question would also serve to bump a most notable write. I'm in Gardner-Webb University land...a few miles west of Shelby, NC which is 45 min. west of Charlotte...As for Raleigh, I have family there, and the club scene is to die for, especially if one wants to perouse the responses of his own voice reading his own chicken scratches...lol Nowhere is somewhere we all visit daily, so you're in a good spot...and I think News_From_Nowhere would benefit from enjoying a walk down your street... [This message has been edited by Purity (08-03-2002 01:03 AM).] |
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secretlife Member
since 2002-07-30
Posts 359Grean Earth ,,, |
I like it...just keep going,,, I will be waiting to read more.. bye |
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Secret Whisper Member
since 2001-01-25
Posts 298Through the Looking Glass |
Very interesting piece. I liked it very much... scary thoughts though. "I am not alive enough to kill myself." - Mary Ipal |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I am never good with comments, but I guess the first thing I can do is welcome you..I read and re-read your words...and most definately has painted a picture in my mind and sent a shiver through my body..hrm..think that sounds sincere enough *shrugs* But nonetheless amazing spell you have woven..I look forward to more... Kristen |
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Dragon en Morta Junior Member
since 2002-07-31
Posts 12 |
Once again, I'm grateful for all the great feedback! Dragon en Morta |
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