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fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

0 posted 2001-02-02 07:38 PM

The Desert

Out in the middle of a desert
She sits upon a wind-carved rock.
That old house was painfully usurped
So long ago. Now she sits without lock,
Dead, dry, and dark, in the desert.

When you go inside, you hear
The awful desert wind drop down
To a ghostly sounds of wail and tear.
In cobwebs and carcasses you drown,
Upon entering the relic of fear.

Skeletons in a
Dark, dank closet, perhaps some
Joke from long ago...

Down the hall, into the living room,
You walk into a realm of forgotten hope.
This place was once the glorious womb
That held ideas to destroy chain and rope.
But now all that's left is a forgotten tomb.

Chuckle, laugh, and live and loot
For now, never to know the answer
To that infernal question of life.
"Will I look like this place when
I am dead?"

You will.
You will look like that when you are dead.

G. A. Webb
Member

since 2000-01-21

Posts 441
Stanton, California, USA

1 posted 2001-02-02 08:01 PM

This was trippy...Thanks! :-

G

Regret not that which you have done,
Rather that which you haven't

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

2 posted 2001-02-02 08:59 PM

Cool. Thanks for the compliments. Glad u found it trippy. I was looking to make a sorta psychadelic/deathy type poem.

Swamp¤Faeryie
Member

since 2000-12-04

Posts 393
fairyland....of course;)

3 posted 2001-02-02 11:32 PM

this was cool,last two lines are rather nonchalant i like that,kind of like morbid humor,well done!!

sammi

Do i contradict myself?Very well i contradict myself.I contain multitudes.~walt whitman

DreadedLiver
Member

since 2001-01-23

Posts 56
Alter, Ego

4 posted 2001-02-04 02:16 PM

Well it seems you are "learning to write poetry" well. I love dark stuff like this, great description and I love your style. There were too many lines that depicted your brilliance to point them all out. Nice one.

Jeremy

"zzzIzzzAMzzzJEREMYDRAULzzz"

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

5 posted 2001-02-05 02:40 AM

Jeremy:

Thankyou for the compliments. I am glad you liked the poem.

Swamp Faeryie:

Thankyou for the compliments on my morbid humour. My friends often tell me that I have a cynical attitude, but it is one which expresses itself in a humourous manner.

laryalee
Member

since 2000-06-19

Posts 352
Alberta, Canada

6 posted 2001-02-05 09:15 PM

Cool one! Spooky echoes, building tension...then bumping into that giggle at the end...
Enjoyed!
Lary

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

7 posted 2001-02-18 12:08 PM

hmm..i didnt find it giggly...lol

rather chilling i thought..and the end was what chilled me the most!

enjoyed the read

hugs, g

"maybe one day
we can turn and face our fears
maybe one day
we can reach out through our tears..."
-a grant

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

8 posted 2001-02-18 08:21 PM

Spooky echoes reminds me of the song 'Welcome to the Room Sara' by Fleetwood Mac but with a more macabre theme...
Drama is your speciality isn't it??

Well done
Isis

*War produces one thing - Cemetaries. And in cemetaries there are no enemies!*
~Isis~~Sovereign of the Spirit.

Zinsser
Senior Member

since 2001-02-27

Posts 1641
Calif.

9 posted 2002-11-22 01:32 PM

interesting... enjoyed

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

10 posted 2002-11-22 05:11 PM

Boy, never thought one of my old buckets would get resurrected. Thanks for the compliments

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

11 posted 2002-11-22 09:09 PM

thanks,
you freaked me out.........
in a good way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

12 posted 2002-11-24 01:01 AM

Interesting...I lived many years in the desert but now prefer to live near the ocean...James

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