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Dark Poetry #3
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Somehere out beyond the edge of the crowd
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Somehere out beyond the edge of the crowd |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods 
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SOMEWHERE OUT BEYOND THE EDGE OF THE CROWD There it is again Eagerly to take me In its cold grasp And I succumb To its immense strenght Over and over I drown in this pool Crimson dyed Yet ever so grey And all around The starry-eyed audience Roars with enthusiastic applause As I embrace These familiar feelings It was never at all How it was meant to be And me I just don't care at all And I didn't ever really realize How magic everything was [This message has been edited by Broken (04-06-2002 06:47 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Jay Hartson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Baroni Member
since 2001-10-14
Posts 94Ontario, Canada |
Well done. I enjoyed this write. keep posting! Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate and captain of your soul. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This was an interesting poem to say the least. As I read it, especially in the second to last sentence, I got the image that you were placed in the middle of some arena. Am I correct in having this image? The final stanza, although somewhat awkward in some respects, also had a gem of an alliteration, with the lines How magic everything was Anyhow, this was a pretty cool poem. I like you theme at the end of never knowing what you have until it is gone. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods |
Fractal; Your "arena idea" is quite correct, but all in my mind, with a surrounding fierce crowd. And the last stanza was meant to be an awakening somehow, like the wind separates the fog  Glad you enjoyed, like I enjoyed the reply.Take care ~Broken~ Base not your joy upon the deeds of others, |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
That's a neat idea you've got going there, Broken, with your awakening. I've always loved both reading and writing poetry that employs the dichotomy between waking and sleeping life. Sorry, just had to reply to your statement there, lol "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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jlocke Member
since 2000-09-10
Posts 169CC,TX |
YES "How magick everything was" and will be Love is the law, love under will. |
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