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LadyPeach1
Member

since 2001-06-04

Posts 282

0 posted 2002-02-18 07:00 PM

His breath upon her neck,
Icy fingers on her lips,
Screaming out in horror,
Hands on thighs and hips,
If she screams again,
What will happen?
What will she do?
Will she live to see another day?
Is there is way out?
On the ground she lay.
A life so innocent,
Like a fragile butterfly,
Taking a young girls innocence,
And still she wonders why.
What did she do to deserve it?
Why would he want to take that special thing,
She is scared and lost,
The butterfly can no longer spread her wings,
Once a butterfly is touched,
It can no longer sore in the sky,
Scared, alone, and confused,
On the ground she lyes.
Such a beauty they all say,
Like a White rose on a beautiful day,
Her wings can now no longer sore,
He must have mistaken her for a cheap whore.
Popular in high school,
Very well known,
Her broken wings, cannot be sewn.
A mans selfish desire,
Not a passion or a burning fire,
Set out to hurt a young life,
Now what can be done to make it right?
She struggles to find the light,
But he makes her world shatter and come tumbling down into the night.
Now she must live with this hate,
For the world only brings fate.

LadyPeach1
Member

since 2001-06-04

Posts 282

1 posted 2002-02-23 10:10 AM

I guess no body liked this one

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

2 posted 2002-07-12 12:35 PM

LP1, You're probable wrong about no one liking this. It may just be a too vivid look at a part of ourselves that we are not comfortable with. I thought that this was a worthy work.

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do...provided it's done in private and you wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

idrift2u
Member

since 2002-07-09

Posts 60
MD., USA

3 posted 2002-07-12 12:47 PM

Hey, I liked it on a level, not just saying it..
I think wranx is right,
But consider this,
Who do you write for?
For us?
Our pleasure?
Or for yourself.... for what ever purpose it may serve.

I know it's nice to hear good comments on your work, but it is not the deciding factor by any means whether your work is significant or not.

GoddessofHell
Member

since 2002-07-09

Posts 76

4 posted 2002-07-12 05:09 AM

I like your peom alot....enjoyed reading!!!!
Heather

akira
Member

since 2002-07-13

Posts 79
Idaho

5 posted 2002-07-13 04:46 AM

I like it alot...and i can identify with the girl in the poem because i've been there....its a very powerful poem....

Akira
www.poetrypoems.com/akira

LadyPeach1
Member

since 2001-06-04

Posts 282

6 posted 2002-07-13 05:50 AM

I was awaken this morning at 4:00 P.M. and when I decided to get online and look at some poems, I was shocked to see this poem at the top with replies! This poem is OLD! But thanks everyone for the honest replies, And Akira, I'm sorry to hear that. Take Care!
LP1

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

7 posted 2002-07-13 08:38 PM

A lot of my friends have had that happen to them, and it's something you carry with y' forever.

A powerful poem. I'm glad you wrote it, LP1.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

LadyPeach1
Member

since 2001-06-04

Posts 282

8 posted 2002-07-15 12:20 PM

Thanks for the reply bsquirrel, your words are very true. LP1

FadeN2you
Junior Member

since 2002-07-15

Posts 15

9 posted 2002-07-15 12:45 PM

LP1-- Thanks for getting me started on this, and unlike everyone else, I think this poem is awesome, its very deep, and you are showing a lot of emotion in it, keep up the good work. ---FadeN2you

Dark Kisses
Member

since 2001-06-24

Posts 364
Flat lands of Kansas

10 posted 2002-07-15 07:29 PM

Wow been awhile since I have been here but glad to see everyone still writing.

And this is just a GREAT poem, I loved it!!

~Dark~

A friend, like a candle, is most needed in the darkness.

LadyPeach1
Member

since 2001-06-04

Posts 282

11 posted 2002-07-15 11:29 PM

Thanks dark for your reply, and I'm glad your back!
LP1

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

12 posted 2002-07-16 10:40 PM

I ditto the above sweetie!! Most people would probably rather read and sneak off before makin a reply...

You've painted the picture well and I for one send my hugs to the innocent in a hands down fight for justice!!

hugs you...
~D

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

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