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CherryBlossom
Junior Member

since 2001-10-13

Posts 14
Communicate!

0 posted 2001-10-13 09:25 PM

Nightmare

Pale faced Priestess of the Dark
With her dreaded colorless eyes
Watching you as you sleep
Feel her stare... hear her voice
Like a serpent’s hiss
Seducing you with morbid tales of dark
As she sits in her dull onyx throne
Weaving nightmares out of dreams
She tugs, she jerks, she pulls you out
Of your dormant state
You awake in fear
Caught between the wicked yarn
She draws you to her outstretched arms
And ever eager claws
Embellished with n’vre nite poison
In an embrace as cold as her stare...
She tears at the seams and eats away your dreams
As you lay helpless...
Hopeless...
Dreamless...
Lifeless...
In her sickly pale arms.

(This poem orginally has not title and I'm not too content with the one I gave it... ack...)

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-10-13 09:42 PM

Welcome! I think the title fits....or MIstress of the night might work too

very well done!

Please check your email for a special greeting! ~SEA

CherryBlossom
Junior Member

since 2001-10-13

Posts 14
Communicate!

2 posted 2001-10-13 09:58 PM

Thanks for the warm welcome, Sea! ^_^

Glad you liked the poem.

I don't write much, poetry that is, but I do so once in a while but they still seem like stories (which is what I do most of the day)... and I am now inspired into writing an epic... *really big grin*

Hmmm, Mistress of the Night sounds good...

JT
Member

since 2001-09-28

Posts 69
Arkansas, USA

3 posted 2001-10-13 11:57 PM

I think I dated the person in this poem. Just kidding. Really I thought it was cool. It's different and I like reading different. You should keep writing.

JT

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

4 posted 2001-10-14 12:53 PM

What imagery you conjure up here. Wonderful writing. Welcome to Passions

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

CherryBlossom
Junior Member

since 2001-10-13

Posts 14
Communicate!

5 posted 2001-10-14 09:55 AM

That was funny, JT... *lol*

I'm really happy you guys liked it!

I'm not that much of a good poet, I write stories (that I hope to sell one day)... that is why they don't rhyme... :p

Reality is a doctrine.

LadyPeach1
Member

since 2001-06-04

Posts 282

6 posted 2001-10-14 01:16 PM

Wow! That was a good write! The end was disturbing! LOL. but that was such a good poem. wonderful, excellent job!
LadyPeach1

CherryBlossom
Junior Member

since 2001-10-13

Posts 14
Communicate!

7 posted 2001-10-14 07:07 PM

Yes, it is quite disturbing... how would a nightmare be a nightmare if it has a happy ending?

I hoped that it had this kind of effect on the reader... I think I achieved it...

Reality is a doctrine.

Baroni
Member

since 2001-10-14

Posts 94
Ontario, Canada

8 posted 2001-10-15 10:51 AM

This is wonderful. Full of dark fantasy and the dream imagery. Very well written. I like the title as is though.... but what do I know?

This one's going in my library, though.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

9 posted 2001-10-16 01:38 AM

I'm going to lock the door to my dreams tonite...to keep that scary lady out.
Good poem! I like dark fantasy, as long as it stays in the 'other world'

CherryBlossom
Junior Member

since 2001-10-13

Posts 14
Communicate!

10 posted 2001-10-16 09:16 AM

I'm brewing more as I post this...

Reality is a doctrine.

Immortal Beloved
Junior Member

since 2001-10-17

Posts 42
the carpathians

11 posted 2001-10-17 05:59 PM

excellent imagery,i truly enjoyed this peice,it was lovely and disturbing at the same time,good work!!

ammelid¤

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt~Julius Caesar

qtpieelmo
Senior Member

since 2000-07-04

Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY

12 posted 2001-10-20 09:20 PM

Wow you painted some pretty scary pictures in my head, great works--Welcome to DP

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

13 posted 2001-10-20 10:25 PM

"She tears at the seams and eats away your dreams
As you lay helpless...
Hopeless...
Dreamless...
Lifeless...
In her sickly pale arms."

This is really a very good first post Cherry Blossom! i enjoyed it very much indeed- wonderful imagery! i think it was well worth the effort it took to write this piece

Im looking forward to reading more of your work- keep them coming

oh and:

Welcome To Passions!

grow, read, reply and most importantly-ENJOY!

see the glass crack like a flower opening

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