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Jonas
Senior Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 796
Oregon

0 posted 2001-09-28 05:04 PM

I loved you,
and believed in us.

I searched every day
for a way
to give you the world,
but it wasn't enough.

Now there's nothing left.

I foolishly gave unto death;
my spirit now collapsing
in upon itself
with no support from within.

© 9/28/01

And I lie here in bed all alone- I can't mend
And I fear tomorrow will be okay
- Staind

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

1 posted 2001-09-28 07:45 PM

This is certainly a sad poem. You have a good way of communicating what you want to say in a very short and simple way. It all remains still excellent though. enjoyed.

Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2001-09-28 09:41 PM

Sad but well written. Hope you find the inner strength to hold you up, to let you move forward.

Jonas
Senior Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 796
Oregon

3 posted 2001-09-28 10:48 PM

Thank you both. I know things will get better, just a matter of time.

And I lie here in bed all alone- I can't mend
And I fear tomorrow will be okay
- Staind

NapalmsConstantlyConfused

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 529

4 posted 2001-09-29 12:18 PM

this is very sad.
very well written, though.
this has a very japanese feel to it - sort of the verbal equivalent of a japanese calligraphic painting, it uses the smallest brushstrokes and the sparsest lines to convey a sweeping panorama of emotion.
if all else fails, at least you can write.
-Napalm

I Love The Smell Of Napalm In The AM!
"Why do i smell something burning?!?"
I Love The Smell Of Napalm In The AM!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2001-09-29 03:05 PM

This happens to us all...if we can empathize with the other person we can understand the situation better...we can understand that they are not pursuing the relationship because they do not have the necessary feelings to sustain those actions...but someday one will come along that desires us as much as we desire them...right?

qtpieelmo
Senior Member

since 2000-07-04

Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY

6 posted 2001-09-30 08:25 PM

Awe this is so sad, I like it cause I can relate,pain will never be easy to get used to!

LoVE ELMo

Jonas
Senior Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 796
Oregon

7 posted 2001-09-30 10:03 PM

Thank you all for the wonderful comments and encouragement. Yes, my life is a wee bit dark right now, but everyone here makes it much brighter. Thank you all

And I lie here in bed all alone- I can't mend
And I fear tomorrow will be okay
- Staind

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

8 posted 2001-10-02 02:02 PM

This is so sad...ahh..what love will make us do...love...oy..

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

9 posted 2001-10-02 11:27 PM

heartfelt write. Lovely expression for such sad feelings.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Jonas
Senior Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 796
Oregon

10 posted 2001-10-03 11:13 AM

Thanks to all. Time heals all wounds? We will see.

JT
Member

since 2001-09-28

Posts 69
Arkansas, USA

11 posted 2001-10-03 10:44 PM

good work. I think a lot of us have felt like this.

JT

maziejean
New Member

since 2001-10-04

Posts 1

12 posted 2001-10-04 02:25 AM

really, really great poem. it's very dark and sad but i have to say i've been there before. i know it might be hard to see right now, but things will get better.

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

13 posted 2001-10-04 11:03 AM

Jonas, this really touched me. Makes you wonder if love is worth it...until the next time.

Dee

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

14 posted 2001-10-08 08:21 PM

Enjoyed reading this...

~Tier

Jonas
Senior Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 796
Oregon

15 posted 2001-10-10 01:11 AM

Thank you again for all the kind words.

Dee - I wonder if love is worth it also. But I know deep down that I will fall in love again someday. I keep telling myself that I won't, but it will happen. It is worth it.

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