Dark Poetry #3 |
Demon |
Rebelious Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 57Kansas, USA |
My bloods running fast, heart out of controle. Your voice is hurting, my poor little soul. Loves supposed to be good, So why does this hurt? You must be a demon, smashing me into the dirt! Begone from my life, for you are not needed. My failures as a man, is from what you have seeded! Now begins my fight, the one which will not end. for you have my heart, and no help will my mind send. My fight is going to be long, for nomore am I passive. now comes that day, The day I tried to live. |
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© Copyright 2001 Dustin Ortiz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
Overall it was a nicely written pice. The rhythmn needs a few minor adjustments...or i jsut read it wrong...but the images and word choice was good...nice work " How can i feel if i can't breathe...?" |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
This is great, inspiring--never give up the fight SMILE LOVE ELMO <3 |
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Hellseyes Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 120Kansas, USA |
another great piece.....what is it that allowa you to write so well..Drew |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
This was a great piece of writing. Take care......Sue Suetang |
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